boobs or lose

Finally, a $200 Dryer for Padded Bras Is Here!

Scary. Photo:

Today in things you never knew you needed, and still don’t want: A Los Angeles engineer named Alexander Farennikov has invented a special boob-shaped dryer for bras, according to the Daily News. Titled “The Ricasol Bra Dryer 2.0,” it’s an updated version of a design he’s been working on for years. “This time around it’s looking better, it will be cheaper and it will adapt to different sizes,” says Farennikov, adding that it can be used for bra sizes A through H. Incidentally, it looks like a black storm trooper helmet.

This is how it works, according to Farennikov’s website:

The approximate drying time is only 20-30 minutes as opposed to the hours it normally takes to air dry your simple or luxurious bras. More technologically speaking, Ricasol uses an infrared light that gently warms up your bra and evaporates the moisture in the bra padding and fabric. Hence the induced air flow removes the moisture leaving you with a dry and beautiful bra.

Farennikov says he got the idea from a female friend who complained about the “hassle” of drying bras, and ticks off all things that can go so terribly wrong if you stick them in the dryer: the padding gets lumpy, the wires get bent, the lace gets all messed up, etc. And even if you do possess the kind of saintly patience it takes to wait a whole day while your bra dries in your bathroom, Farennikov says that sometimes the padding can get mildewed if you live in a humid climate. (Really, if your climate is that muggy, then mildew is nothing compared to the damage your boob sweat will do.)

While it’s nice to know that guys like Farennikov are looking out for women and their elaborate bras, he should know that we’re doing just fine with the towel rack (or, you know, with plain pad-less bras that can be washed and dried without any problems whatsoever). Meanwhile, this contraption just seems embarrassing: Roommates/significant others/houseguests will definitely be much more freaked out by a shiny boob-shaped apparatus than by a few padded bra surprises dangling around. And if you’re so attached to one particular undergarment that you can’t bear to part with it for the amount of time it takes to air-dry, then, well, maybe you should just buy another one — it’ll still be cheaper than a bra-dryer, which will cost $150 to $200 when it comes out in 2014.