Oh, Ryan Lochte. You were so charming in the pool, winning medals and being shirtless and goofy. But then the Olympics ended and you were still there, flashing your dimples around fashion week and talking about your reality show. And now, come April, that reality show is about to be real. This puts us, your loyal fans, in an awkward position. We still want to bask in the glow of your cute blue eyes, but we don’t want to see you struggle with words like “emphasis” (his version: “empatus,” like he’s combined it with “impetus”) and “reciprocate” (he says “recipitate”). Your love of fashion, formerly so raw and genuine, is starting to sound rehearsed. And as for your love life? Well, there’s only so many times we can watch you stare at random girls’ boobs (watch the eyes, above).
Obviously, we’ll still watch, but it will be with sinking hearts. The show’s first full-length trailer came out on Entertainment Weekly today; breakout characters include his mom, his coach, and an adorable unidentified baby. Ryan, you have come so far from what made us love you, and that is not a good thing.