Things Almost As Gross As Gaga’s Semen-Stained Dress

Ripe for spilling.
Ripe for spilling. Photo: Sharpshooter Images/Splash/Corbis

Today’s Post has a long story about celebrities who have returned clothes with disgusting things on them. Their lead example is Lady Gaga, who reportedly borrowed a Thierry Mugler dress for a video shoot two years ago:

When the NYC-based fashion p.r. firm that arranged the loan got the dress back a few weeks later, it was torn — and had what appeared to be the remnants of a “Bad Romance” on it.

“It looked like it had [semen] on it. It was so disgusting. I couldn’t even tell you,” dishes a p.r. girl who worked with the label at the time and saw the damage firsthand.

Ew! But really, it could have easily been something else. Mayonnaise from an on-set BLT, perhaps, or a dribble of Mornay sauce from a late-night bowl of pasta? Or maybe it was glue from one of the many things Gaga probably had stuck to her face. The possibilities are endless.

But either way, stained clothing is par for the course on a night out. Heck, we consider it a success if we can make it through an average workday at our desks without spilling coffee or smearing a food item on ourselves. A quick survey of Cut staffers finds that we’ve discovered the following items, substances, and/or diseases on our person after an evening of carousing:

Two cell phones: “I assume because I mistook someone else’s phone for mine and grabbed both.”

Weird business cards: “A given.”

Pink eye: “99.9 percent sure it was from the beer glass. It looked dirty. And you know how your eye gets all close to the glass when you’re taking a sip? Maybe that’s just me?”

Someone else’s umbrella: “More than once.”

Peanut butter: “From my boyfriend’s kitchen. He was mad I finished the jar.”

Candle wax: “It was on my boots. I was really worried it was vomit, and then my friend was like, ‘Oh no, you stole a candle while it was still lit. Look in your purse.’”

Chocolate smudges: “On my sheets. I’m just glad it wasn’t poo, I guess.”

A bouquet of wilted roses: “I thought someone had given them to me, but then I figured out I’d bought them for myself at a bodega.”

Red wine stains: “Always. Everywhere.”

As for the most commonly found morning-after item? Crusty lime wedges, most frequently found in purses but sometimes in pockets and, in one case, speared onto a stiletto heel. So Gaga, you’re in good company. But the moral of this story is this: Celebs should just dry clean their borrowed stuff before they send it back. That way, they can avoid bad publicity like this Post story, and gain good publicity like Beyoncé. Win-win.

Things Almost As Gross As Gaga’s Stained Dress