A twentysomething man had an alarming experience on a camping trip with his father and two brothers. “The facilities were spartan,” he wrote to Slate’s Dear Prudence, “and we all ended up in a communal shower.” There he saw it, dangling between his little brother’s legs: a really gigantic penis.
While my older brother, dad, and myself have fairly similar, if modest, endowments, my younger brother’s male parts were noticeably different (and “better”) than ours in almost every way possible: size, shape, even complexion (!). It was like seeing a great white whale breaching alongside dolphins. None of us look strikingly like our parents, but we are clearly brothers, except for this newly discovered alien appendage on my younger brother.
Since the writer’s parents divorced shortly after the youngest brother’s birth, he wondered whether he should ask his parents whether the youngest has a different father. Dear Prudence advises against meddling. (How would you even broach the topic? “Mom, did you leave Dad because you met a guy with a larger and more finely complected penis?”) She notes that genetics are hard to predict, but sometimes theoretical science is not enough. Sometimes you need hard facts. Long, hard facts.
The Cut surveyed sexually active individuals who have slept with brothers to find out what the penises were like.
Male: i have a brother
Male: i haven’t seen his dick in more than a decade
Male: or two probably
Male: i have, however, slept with gay brothers
Male: and they were different.
Me: flaccid AND erect different?
Me: Which brother was better?
Male: bigger. always.
Female: I’ve fooled around with brothers
Me: Were their penises the same?
Female: similar! also similar endurance levels. but not the same size, one was thicker.
Me: Do you think the brother with the bigger penis knew?
Female: yeah. they’ve slept with at least one other girl in common.
Me: Which brother was better?
Female: bigger one
Male: When I was in high school, i blew two guys who were brothers (separately) and they had very similar penises
Me: HOW SIMILAR? Erect AND flaccid?
Male: I only saw them erect (I’m good) and they were very close in both size and girth. The balls were also similar. But one came a lot faster than the other
Me: Were the rest of their bodies the same?
Male: They actually did look pretty similar. The same coloring, similar height, looked alike.
Me: Were they equally fun to hook up with?
Male: I liked one more than the other, but I’m not sure why.
SAME FRECKLE, DIFFERENT SIZE
Identical Twin: I haven’t had sex with brothers, but I hooked up with a guy after my twin brother hooked up with him. I met the guy at a bar and hooked up with him that night. He later told me he had hooked up with my twin.
Me: Do you know if you and your brother have similar penises?
Identical Twin: We haven’t measured next to each other, but I’m pretty sure they are similar. (I am told I’m a little bigger.) I do know that we both have a little freckle on it. We have a younger brother and I don’t know if he measures up to us.
Me: Is the freckle in the same place? Who told you you’re bigger?
Identical Twin: Well, they are both on the head. Haven’t really examined if it’s in the same exact place. Another friend told us when he had seen us both at the beach changing.