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May 1990, September 1990, May 1992 Where: The premieres of Total Recall , Postcards from the Edge , and Poison Ivy .
What: Bike shorts, mom jeans,... more
May 1990, September 1990, May 1992 Where: The premieres of Total Recall , Postcards from the Edge , and Poison Ivy .
What: Bike shorts, mom jeans, and white leggings: Behold the Early-Nineties Triumvirate of Horror. Each of these is terrifying in its own deeply unflattering way – and helpfully illustrate why so many of us old enough to have dressed ourselves in the previous century often claim that all our family photos were destroyed in a very specific fire.
Photo: Ron Galella/WireImage
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April 1992 Where : An AIDS Project L.A. benefit for Thierry Mugler.
What : Basic Instinct had come out a few weeks earlier, so presumably Sharon f... more
April 1992 Where : An AIDS Project L.A. benefit for Thierry Mugler.
What : Basic Instinct had come out a few weeks earlier, so presumably Sharon felt she was at her apex as a sex symbol. Still, “sexy” and “my cape doubles as a sex swing” are not necessarily synonyms; while she could not have divined that American Horror Story someday would put the final nail in the Gimp-costume coffin, she did presumably have time to talk herself out of this during the 45 minutes it doubtless took to put it on. Photo: Ron Galella/Getty Images
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May 1993 Where: The premiere of Sliver , Stone's widely panned, multi-Razzie-nominated follow-up to Basic Instinct, which numerous teens snuck int... more
May 1993 Where: The premiere of Sliver , Stone's widely panned, multi-Razzie-nominated follow-up to Basic Instinct, which numerous teens snuck into theaters to see because of promised full-frontal nudity from Billy Baldwin. Or so we’ve been told.
What: The formal apronlike neckline and pockets — so deeply nineties, especially paired with the sheer black hose — make this perfectly appropriate for those events where you want to look both funereal and ready to pop a pie in the oven. We hope, given the movie’s fate, it was raspberry. Photo: Ron Galella/Getty Images
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June 1993 Where: The MTV Movie Awards, where Sharon won Best Female Performance and Most Desirable Female for Basic Instinct.
What: First of all... more
June 1993 Where: The MTV Movie Awards, where Sharon won Best Female Performance and Most Desirable Female for Basic Instinct.
What: First of all, we must note that Sharon accepted both awards wearing sunglasses, like a baller (or Anna Wintour). Second, that feathered hat is hilarious. It's like something you'd see if Big Bird were to costume a Sesame Street production of Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Photo: Ron Galella/Getty Images
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August 1994 Where : The Comedy Hall of Fame, which (a) we just learned exists, and (b) might have forgotten, when compiling the guest list, that S... more
August 1994 Where : The Comedy Hall of Fame, which (a) we just learned exists, and (b) might have forgotten, when compiling the guest list, that Sliver wasn’t intentionally funny.
What : We can’t tell if this dress was a deliberate giggle, either, but Sharon certainly seems to have a mischievous glint in her eye. Maybe that’s just because she watered down the moonshine, and slipped Billy the Kid an extra two aces to tape under the saloon’s poker table. Photo: Ron Galella/Getty Images
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January and March 1995 Where : The Golden Globes and the Oscars, for which she was nominated for nuanced work opposite Sylvester Stallone in The S... more
January and March 1995 Where : The Golden Globes and the Oscars, for which she was nominated for nuanced work opposite Sylvester Stallone in The Specialist . Okay, no, she was just a guest.
What : Her Globes garb appears to be a satin pajama shirt knotted over ... a satin pajama nightie. Were it the present day, we might also fear this was a jumpsuit, so at least we can be grateful for small favors. Sharon’s massive, covered-up Oscars dress is entirely the opposite statement, as if she’s Mother Ginger in The Nutcracker and a bunch of gingerbread moppets are about to escape from her skirt. If she wanted snacks so badly, she should’ve just stuck a granola bar in her purse. Photo: S. Granitz/WireImage
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November 1995 Where : Getting her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
What : This is pure latter-day Diane Keaton. Which is fine if you are Diane ... more
November 1995 Where : Getting her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
What : This is pure latter-day Diane Keaton. Which is fine if you are Diane Keaton, or if you were on Melrose Place around this time (that hairdo was seen on both Allison and Sydney, and possibly also Jo). But when you’re Sharon Stone, and you’re getting an expensive paving stone with your name on it, shouldn’t you show up in full regalia? Even J.Lo figured that one out. Photo: SGranitz
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November 1995 and March 1996 Where: The premieres of Casino and Diabolique .
What: In case you were wondering if someone other than Hefner could ... more
November 1995 and March 1996 Where: The premieres of Casino and Diabolique .
What: In case you were wondering if someone other than Hefner could pull off bathrobes on the red carpet, the answer is … sort of, but why did she have to try it twice? Photo: SGranitz/WireImage
Ron Galella/WireImage
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November 1996 Where: The premiere of 101 Dalmatians .
What : Never let it be said that Sharon Stone can't adhere to a theme. Photo: Ron Galella/Ge... more
November 1996 Where: The premiere of 101 Dalmatians .
What : Never let it be said that Sharon Stone can't adhere to a theme. Photo: Ron Galella/Getty Images
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September 1993; January 1996 Where : The VMAs, and the Golden Globes, where she won for Casino.
What : This is just a quick pause for station iden... more
September 1993; January 1996 Where : The VMAs, and the Golden Globes, where she won for Casino.
What : This is just a quick pause for station identification, so to speak — basically, we’re reminding you how dynamite Sharon can look when she opts for sophistication over shock value. Especially that coral VMAs gown, which is interesting without being confusing, a distinction with which she has obviously struggled (this entire slideshow being Exhibit A). Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage
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September 1998 Where: The premiere of Antz .
What : And then we crash quickly back to Earth (both in her closet and on her résumé). ... more
September 1998 Where: The premiere of Antz .
What : And then we crash quickly back to Earth (both in her closet and on her résumé). Remember those high-style bathrobes? Our kingdom for their return to cover up these pajamas, which never should have left the bedroom. She looks like the kind of genie you try to shove back in the bottle, because anyone who’d do this to themselves voluntarily can’t be trusted to grant three wishes correctly. Photo: Jim Smeal/Getty Images
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March 1996, and March 1998 Where: The Academy Awards.
What: For all of Sharon's sartorial kookiness, sometimes her fashion risks pay off — as it... more
March 1996, and March 1998 Where: The Academy Awards.
What: For all of Sharon's sartorial kookiness, sometimes her fashion risks pay off — as it did in these iconic Oscars moments, both of which involved a shirt from the Gap (the turtleneck her own; the white Oxford belonging, originally, to her husband). Sharon Stone is the original high-low fashion mixologist. Photo: Evan Agostini/Getty Images
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August 1999; September 2000 Where : The premiere of The Muse , and the Lucy Awards.
What : There is no explanation for her leather Lucys getup – sh... more
August 1999; September 2000 Where : The premiere of The Muse , and the Lucy Awards.
What : There is no explanation for her leather Lucys getup – she looks like she’s in costume as Meg Ryan in an ill-conceived rodeo rom-com. But given that she played the titular muse in The Muse , you’d think Sharon might have been mindful of attending the premiere dressed as the inspiration for a PSA on the healing benefits of juicing your sacred crystals. Photo: Ron Galella/WireImage
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March 2002 Where: The Academy Awards.
What: If this were better executed, it might be alluring, but all that bunchy illusion netting wouldn’t ev... more
March 2002 Where: The Academy Awards.
What: If this were better executed, it might be alluring, but all that bunchy illusion netting wouldn’t even pass muster at the Upper Great Lakes regional figure-skating preliminaries. Photo: KMazur/WireImage
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May 2002 Where : The Cannes Film Festival, a Sharon Stone favorite.
What : This is a juxtaposition of everything that Sharon Stone encompasses: mo... more
May 2002 Where : The Cannes Film Festival, a Sharon Stone favorite.
What : This is a juxtaposition of everything that Sharon Stone encompasses: moments of absolute bombshell glamour mixed with the deranged prowlings of the president of a Louise Brooks–themed biker gang. Photo: Tony Barson Archive/WIreImage
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January 2003 Where : Ye Olde Golden Globes.
What: Let us break this down for you. It's a sequined, sheer, shredded (!) two-piece number, paired w... more
January 2003 Where : Ye Olde Golden Globes.
What: Let us break this down for you. It's a sequined, sheer, shredded (!) two-piece number, paired with lace-up shit-kicker boots. She looks like a madam come to town to scare up some business, and we do mean “scare.” Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images
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June and September 2004 Where : The MTV Movie Awards and the Emmys.
What : We think of this as Sharon’s Pink Slinky Underboob phase – kind of like... more
June and September 2004 Where : The MTV Movie Awards and the Emmys.
What : We think of this as Sharon’s Pink Slinky Underboob phase – kind of like Picasso’s Rose Period, but with more cleavage and terror. Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
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December 2004 Where: VH-1's "Big In '04" Awards, and the premiere of Ocean's Twelve . Hey, remember when VH-1 used to do things? Neither... more
December 2004 Where: VH-1's "Big In '04" Awards, and the premiere of Ocean's Twelve . Hey, remember when VH-1 used to do things? Neither did we.
What: This is a return to brothel form. That white outfit looks like something we call Business-Casual Madonna; the other one appears as if she fought off a bird with her purse on the way to open up her love shack, and then decided the carnage was cute. Photo: Vince Bucci/Getty Images
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May 2005 Where : Cannes, for the Basic Instinct 2 premiere.
What : Frankly, it’s really hard to tell what she’s wearing, because of those two horn... more
May 2005 Where : Cannes, for the Basic Instinct 2 premiere.
What : Frankly, it’s really hard to tell what she’s wearing, because of those two horny raccoons mating around her neck. Photo: Evan Agostini/Getty Images
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September 2005 Where: The Emmy Awards.
What: In which we learn that Cher Horowitz grew up to be a matador. Photo: Gene Blevins/Getty Images
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October 2005, March 2006 Where : On Craig Ferguson’s show, and at the Oscars.
What : This slide presents two polar-opposite versions of crazy. At ... more
October 2005, March 2006 Where : On Craig Ferguson’s show, and at the Oscars.
What : This slide presents two polar-opposite versions of crazy. At the Oscars, Stone chose scalloped, puff-sleeve glamour and hair shellacked into Dynasty splendor for an overall look that’s only, oh, fifteen years past its expiration date. Conversely, on The Late Late Show , she looks like she crawled into a KFC, deep-fried her hair, and then forgot to take off her pants — ironic, given the scene in Basic Instinct that made her (in)famous. Photo: David Livingston/Getty Images
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March 2006 Where : A variety of Basic Instinct 2 premieres.
What : Insane lingerie, crotch-skimming sheers, Pocahontas’s spring dance dress, and t... more
March 2006 Where : A variety of Basic Instinct 2 premieres.
What : Insane lingerie, crotch-skimming sheers, Pocahontas’s spring dance dress, and those over-the-top romance-novel hairdos ... The good news for Sharon is that we had totally erased these looks from our brains. The better news is, until just now, we had also blocked out the existence of Basic Instinct 2 . So if she was trying to give us widespread horror-induced amnesia, it worked brilliantly. Photo: Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images
Sean Gallup/Getty Images
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March 2006 Where: Doing press on Letterman in aid of Basic Instinct 2 .
What: You should know that Sharon Stone owns, and wears, a giant reversib... more
March 2006 Where: Doing press on Letterman in aid of Basic Instinct 2 .
What: You should know that Sharon Stone owns, and wears, a giant reversible fur coat. Although, on some deep, cellular level, we’ve probably always known that. Photo: Brad Barket/Getty Images
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October 2006, May 2007, February 2009 Where : The Carousel of Hope gala, Cannes, and the BAFTAs.
What : We just wanted to knock you sideways again... more
October 2006, May 2007, February 2009 Where : The Carousel of Hope gala, Cannes, and the BAFTAs.
What : We just wanted to knock you sideways again. As much as we cherish Sharon’s berserk side, her crazy might just be calculated to make people pass out when she pulls off the truly fabulous stuff like this – like lulling us into a false sense of security before reminding us that she’s actually totally in control. Photo: Michael Buckner/Getty Images
Tim Whitby/Getty Images
Peter Kramer/Getty Images
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May 2009 Where: Cannes Film Festival.
What: Apparently, Sharon saw the 2009 Cannes Film Festival as her opportunity to teach a class in the righ... more
May 2009 Where: Cannes Film Festival.
What: Apparently, Sharon saw the 2009 Cannes Film Festival as her opportunity to teach a class in the right way, and the wrong way, to do "leggy." Hint: the wrong way is the one that evokes Morticia Addams’s get-up for swimsuit portion of the 1934 Mrs. Goth America pageant. Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
George Pimentel/FilmMagic
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November 2009 Where : Elton John’s AIDS benefit.
What : It’s Dick Tracy meets Burlesque . Inspiring the vital question: Why doesn’t that movie exis... more
November 2009 Where : Elton John’s AIDS benefit.
What : It’s Dick Tracy meets Burlesque . Inspiring the vital question: Why doesn’t that movie exist? Photo: Bryan Bedder/Getty Images
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February 2011 Where : The Oscars.
What : Which is more surprised: Sharon’s hair, or the Muppet that woke up pinned to her chest? Photo: Jason Merr... more
February 2011 Where : The Oscars.
What : Which is more surprised: Sharon’s hair, or the Muppet that woke up pinned to her chest? Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images
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May 2013 Where: Cannes, again.
What: In preparation for Lovelace — and at what feels like one of her favorite venues — Sharon made a fabulous sp... more
May 2013 Where: Cannes, again.
What: In preparation for Lovelace — and at what feels like one of her favorite venues — Sharon made a fabulous splash at Cannes, reappearing to remind us of all of the glamorous splendor she is capable of conjuring, without any of the overindulgence and subsequent migraines. Photo: Traverso/L’Oreal/Getty Images
Mike Marsland/WireImage
George Pimentel/WireImage
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August 2013 Where : Various Lovelace events.
What : One thing you almost never saw from younger Sharon Stone was well-executed semi-formal-wear — ... more
August 2013 Where : Various Lovelace events.
What : One thing you almost never saw from younger Sharon Stone was well-executed semi-formal-wear — like, a properly tailored pantsuit or summery cocktail dresses. Maybe it’s because she’s starring with the ingenue and therefore doesn’t feel the pressure to echo one herself anymore, or maybe Sharon Stone grew up along with the rest of us. Regardless, as much as we love revisiting her more bewildering fashion choices, it’s great to see her settling into her fifties at the top of her glam game. Having said that, if she wanted to pull out a few of these relics for old times’ sake, we wouldn’t complain. Come on, Sharon, let those bike shorts out of the closet one more time. Photo: Steven Lovekin/Getty Images
Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images
Jason Kempin/Getty Images