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Our Blowouts, Ourselves

Photo: Mladen Mitrinovic/iStockphoto

The blowout-bar craze is no longer just a craze; it’s become a way of life. Enough women have come to depend on quick-access hairstyling that we can mine some real social trends from the hoards who frequent the 35-minute rom-com and sauv-blanc-filled hair appointments. Allure has an interview with Gregory Patterson, lead educator and cultural anthropologist at Blow the New York Blow Dry Bar, who reveals how our reliance on quick blowouts is turning us into well-groomed Kim Kardashian wannabes:

We all want to look Kim Kardashian: “If I hear that one more time, I’m going to flip,” says Patterson. “I understand that it’s cute and polished, but, come on, there are so many other ways to wear your hair.”

The walk of shame to work has become tediously high maintenance: Instead of showering at the gym or stopping at the Gap for a new shirt and a jazzy hair clip to mask last night’s activities, Patterson’s early-morning clients get post-nookie, pre-work blowouts and stash entire outfits at the office. “I’ve learned that most women have an extra change of clothes, an extra set of heels, and an entire makeup kit at the office. She’ll be in my chair texting — asking a co-worker to pull her blouse out and get the coffee going.”

One blowout a day isn’t enough: Gone are the days of a blowout a week to last you through your social agenda. Patterson had “one woman come in three times in one day. She came in the morning for a brunch thing, then again to get her hair curled for a lunch date, and then we threw her hair up at night for drinks with a guy.”

Your hair is full of secrets, that’s why it’s so voluminous: Even though the Blow blowout is pretty inexpensive, women still feel compelled to hide their “addiction” by using separate credit cards so their husbands don’t find out about their three-a-day blowout habit, Patterson says. He also reveals that he is a go-to blowout artist for philandering women: “I get women ready to go on dates — and I get them ready to go back home to their husbands,” says Patterson. “If I was ever subpoenaed to court, it would be devastating for my clients sitting on trial.”

Nothing is sacred. We’ll just stick to mastering the art of the genius, brushless blowout.

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Our Blowouts, Ourselves