Fashion Week is barely a few hours old, and already it’s an ode to ocular manscape architecture. First it was Jesse Metcalfe’s admirable brows at BCBG. Then the front row at Richard Chai was replete with carefully sculpted cranial carpets: Zachary Quinto, his hair in an artful northward swoop, brows just as evilly lush as when he was maybe eating people’s brains on Heroes; Arrow’s Colton Haynes, chiseled and clean-shaven and also well-groomed above the eyes, and Joe Jonas, whose signature caterpillars were in full force. Make no mistake, we mean all this as a compliment. We love a man who knows his way around a pair of tweezers.
Quinto gabbed it up with Christina Ricci, who looked, as we heard one girl put it, “like a tiny, beautiful alien.” Joe, in a studded sweatshirt, posed with his brothers Kevin — mercifully devoid of one of his many blouses that look like rejects from Denise’s closet on The Cosby Show — and Nick, in an olive suit. “I am like so excited just to see the Jonas brothers,” someone behind us said, to which her friend replied, “… Really?” But it was a worthy sight to behold: All three Jonai together, basically the same height, posing with identical squints that are part sultry, part “Yeah, can we forget that whole earnest-boy-band thing? Thanks.” It was like watching them try to graduate from Seventeen to GQ.
Haynes, who had his sister in tow, looked arguably the most dapper of all in his plaid Chai suit, which he picked out himself from the designer’s studio. “I gravitate toward patterns — anything interesting really,” he told us. “But you can make any suit interesting as long as it fits well. I’d say fit is the biggest challenge, especially because I’m on the smaller side.” Then he paused. “Uh, I mean, obviously, I’m six-four.” For the record, he is listed at a perfectly respectable five-foot-nine on IMDb, but it’s all good — he’s got two inches on Joe Jonas, and if seeing him taught us anything, it’s that face-scaping adds height. So tend your garden in good health.