Beauty Tips for When Mercury Is in Retrograde
Photo: Courtesy Photos, NASA
Today is the first day of the fashion crowd’s most dreaded multi-week ordeal. In the upcoming weeks, beware of well-dressed, sleepless zombies staring and muttering intently at their smartphones. The world will feel dark and cold, and everything will seem meaningless. Subway doors will shut in your face. The Uber app will crash. There will be lots of tweeting, pleading for “it” to be over and for life to resume its course. No, it isn’t the much-maligned Fashion Week: It’s Mercury in retrograde, and it might make you feel less than attractive, if you believe in such things.
According to astrologers, Mercury is responsible for all transportation and communication issues, ruling over intelligence, truth, and education. When it goes into retrograde, or a backward motion, its ruling entities also go into remission and all goes to hell. So, re-schedule your haircuts (now is not the time to try the Karlie), don’t sign any contracts, don’t buy that $3,000 Marni coat, and assume that yes, you will miss that connection, Craigslist or otherwise.
Since you can’t call in “Mercury” to work, we’ve compiled a list of no-fuss, feel-good beauty products for every day of this planetary purgatory. We chose them for their simplicity, uplifting effect, and ability to perform. Consider them your beauty toolkit for the next 21 days of your life. Buying even one of these is guaranteed to lift your mood.
Day 1 - Rococo Nail Apparel's Love and Protection Duo Garlic wards off vampires and Rococo’s Love and Protection duo are your best bet for wardin...
Day 1 - Rococo Nail Apparel's Love and Protection Duo Garlic wards off vampires and Rococo’s Love and Protection duo are your best bet for warding off mercury. The colors were inspired by semi-precious stones with healing qualities, like moonstone, who signifies peace and love, and silver hematite is a stone that symbolizes strength and protection. You will need both.
Photo: Courtesy photo
Day 2 - Seche Vite Top Coat With the world thrown in turmoil, isn’t a chip the last thing you want to worry about? Unless, of course, it has guac...
Day 2 - Seche Vite Top Coat With the world thrown in turmoil, isn’t a chip the last thing you want to worry about? Unless, of course, it has guacamole on it. Apply a Seche Vite top coat to your nails to keep manicures bionically intact for up to three weeks.
Photo: Courtesy photo
Day 3 - Renee Rouleau Anti-Cyst Treatment The last thing you need right now is a break out. Take the protective measure of applying Renee Rouleau...
Day 3 - Renee Rouleau Anti-Cyst Treatment The last thing you need right now is a break out. Take the protective measure of applying Renee Rouleau’s Anti-Cyst treatment to at-risk areas. It’s one of the only topical solution I’ve found that actually flattens bumps overnight.
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Day 4 - Tata Harper Irritability Essence Whether you believe in aromatherapy or not, Mercury in retrograde is not the time to decide. Tata Harper...
Day 4 - Tata Harper Irritability Essence Whether you believe in aromatherapy or not, Mercury in retrograde is not the time to decide. Tata Harper’s Aromatic Irritability Treatment blends chamomile, bergamot, and patchouli to keep you centered. Because even if you are paying your interns, throwing things at them is still discouraged. And it’s not his or her fault, it’s Mercury’s.
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Day 5 - Redken Shine Brilliiance Glass 01 Shine Serum Hair can never be too shiny. And happy, bouncy hair will get you through almost anything. F...
Day 5 - Redken Shine Brilliiance Glass 01 Shine Serum Hair can never be too shiny. And happy, bouncy hair will get you through almost anything. Fashion's hair guru Guido Paulo uses Redken's Shine Brilliance Glass 01 Shine Serum backstage to smooth down frizz, while adding shine. Scorpio's take note, you'll need this especially, because Susan Miller foretells Mercury to be especially bad for you.
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Day 6 - GlamGlow Youthmud Tingleexfoliate I learned about this mask from soft-crooner, Michael Buble. Really. I was once working on a slideshow a...
Day 6 - GlamGlow Youthmud Tingleexfoliate I learned about this mask from soft-crooner, Michael Buble. Really. I was once working on a slideshow about celebrities in face masks and his fiance ebulliently Instagrammed a picture of him enjoying a GlamGlow mud mask pre-show. I’m not sure what about them compelled me to want to try it but I did--and the mud is cooling and deliciously tingly. It will zap all the bad juju out of your day.
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Day 7
- The Body Shop's Honeymania Bubble Bath Melt You successfully survived Week 1. Treat yourself to a bath using the Body Shop’s Honeymania ...
Day 7
- The Body Shop's Honeymania Bubble Bath Melt You successfully survived Week 1. Treat yourself to a bath using the Body Shop’s Honeymania Bubble Bath Melt, a comforting, warm honey scent that will envelop you like a cloud. After you finish soaking, step out of the wet tub onto the wet floor CAREFULLY. You have seen Final Destination 5, correct?
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Day 8 - Klorane Smoothing and Relaxing Patches for Tired Eyes Your eyes are obviously tired - from staring at your various electronic devices. Kl...
Day 8 - Klorane Smoothing and Relaxing Patches for Tired Eyes Your eyes are obviously tired - from staring at your various electronic devices. Klorane is best known for their dry shampoo, but their eye masks are one-time use sheets ergonomically designed to fit in the groove of your under-eye, and hydrate and de-puff. I got clued onto using them cool after seeing an Instagram picture of them in the refrigerator of photographer duo Inez and Vinoodh.
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Day 9 - Cowshed Grumpy Cow Line You’re starting to be a Grumpy Cow. But unlike Grumpy Cat, your perma-pissed off face isn’t inking you any movie ...
Day 9 - Cowshed Grumpy Cow Line You’re starting to be a Grumpy Cow. But unlike Grumpy Cat, your perma-pissed off face isn’t inking you any movie deals or frappuccino lines. Cowshed, the bath line used by the SoHo House, makes bath and body lines to suit your particular brand of bovine. Photo: Courtesy photo
Day 10 - Flower Lipstick An inexpensive thrill is in order. Drew Barrymore’s Flower lipsticks are the best drugstore lipsticks, moisturizing, wit...
Day 10 - Flower Lipstick An inexpensive thrill is in order. Drew Barrymore’s Flower lipsticks are the best drugstore lipsticks, moisturizing, with super rich color. I wore Dahlia Darling, to a wedding over the summer, and everyone asked me if it was NARS. Try and channel Drew's happy-go-lucky nature as you wear it.
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Day 11 - Deborah Lippmann's Stronger Maybe you’re not normally into sparkle and glitter. But we’ve only hit the halfway point so now would be the...
Day 11 - Deborah Lippmann's Stronger Maybe you’re not normally into sparkle and glitter. But we’ve only hit the halfway point so now would be the time to make an exception with a polish with the shiniest, best glitter payoff. Deborah Lippmann's newest, called Stronger, is a purple confetti canyon-like polish, created with Kelly Clarkson. Appropriate.
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Day 12 - NARS Guy Bourdin Blushes The easiest way to perk up your face, even as your life falls in shambles around you, is to pick the brightest,...
Day 12 - NARS Guy Bourdin Blushes The easiest way to perk up your face, even as your life falls in shambles around you, is to pick the brightest, happiest blush your face can handle. NAR’s Guy Bourdin collection has several, bright as a highlighter-like shades, but do not be intimidated. For example, Coeur Battant, a true magenta shade that looks terrifyingly clown-like pink in the compact, but is actually a beautifully, sheer, look-alive shade when applied to the cheek.
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Day 13 - Clarins Beauty Flash Blam You diligently backed up your files, but as par for the course when Mercury comes around, your flash drive fai...
Day 13 - Clarins Beauty Flash Blam You diligently backed up your files, but as par for the course when Mercury comes around, your flash drive failed. Clarins Beauty Flash Blam, is much more reliable. Press this into your skin before/post makeup as a revitalizer to look fresher.
Day 14 - NARS Creamy Concealer After reading about how NARS Creamy Concealer changed the lives and dark undereyes of Olivia Pope, I had to try it...
Day 14 - NARS Creamy Concealer After reading about how NARS Creamy Concealer changed the lives and dark undereyes of Olivia Pope, I had to try it. Use this always creamy textured cover-up and dark days won’t have to mean dark circles.
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Day 15 - Blow Bar Mercury in retrograde is all about detours, so take one to Macy’s beauty floor revamp where Blow, the New York Dry Bar, h...
Day 15 - Blow Bar Mercury in retrograde is all about detours, so take one to Macy’s beauty floor revamp where Blow, the New York Dry Bar, has installed dry styling stations. You can get your hair braided, styled with expert Erin Wasson waves, or blown out for $20-$50. Photo: Courtesy photo
Day 16 - Surratt Beauty's Pointilliste Mascara Lift your spirits and your lashes with Troy Surratt’s Japanese-inspired mascara, which withstands ...
Day 16 - Surratt Beauty's Pointilliste Mascara Lift your spirits and your lashes with Troy Surratt’s Japanese-inspired mascara, which withstands humidity, forms 360 degree tubes around each lash, and is removed with water. The ballerina was his mascara’s muse, so he created a formula and wand that lifts, elongates and extends like a pirouette.
Day 17 - Jouer Highlighters There is no light in your life, but you can have light on your face. Jouer’s highlighters are cream-based and finely ...
Day 17 - Jouer Highlighters There is no light in your life, but you can have light on your face. Jouer’s highlighters are cream-based and finely milled, in flattering yellow-based, pink, or translucent shades. They won’t slide all over your face. Dab these around your orbital bones and cheekbones to deflect mercury’s shade on your life.
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Day 18 - Lush's Blue Skies and Fluffy White Clouds Bubble Bar Lush, specializes in the art of happy beauty. Their Blue Skies and Fluffy White Clo...
Day 18 - Lush's Blue Skies and Fluffy White Clouds Bubble Bar Lush, specializes in the art of happy beauty. Their Blue Skies and Fluffy White Clouds bubble bath bar creates a Harry Potter prefect-bathroom-like bathing experience, with a light blue, soothing, fancy hippie patchouli bubbles. Brighter days are in sight. Photo: Courtesy photo
Day 19 - NEST Fragrance Grapefruit Candle Your olfactory sense has one of the strongest powers of recall. Burn NEST fragrance’s powerfully scente...
Day 19 - NEST Fragrance Grapefruit Candle Your olfactory sense has one of the strongest powers of recall. Burn NEST fragrance’s powerfully scented Grapefruit candle, created with four times the aromatic oils of a Yankee Candle, to recall memories of a happier times. Photo: Courtesy photo
Day 20 - Stila's All-Day Liquid Lipsticks and Tarte's Lipsurgence Matte Lip Tint During mercury, you have no time to fuss. You’ll be dealing with...
Day 20 - Stila's All-Day Liquid Lipsticks and Tarte's Lipsurgence Matte Lip Tint During mercury, you have no time to fuss. You’ll be dealing with everything the universe is throwing at you - former paramours texting you for no reason, Candy Crush losing your high score, For that, you need a no-slip, matte, long-lasting lipstick like Tarte’s Matte Lip Tint and Stila’s All-Day Liquid Lipsticks. The colors are passionate, operatic, and their easy wearability makes it easy to concentrate on what really matters--that there is only one more day of Mercury! Photo: Courtesy photo
Day 21 - SK-II Face Mask You’ve reached the end! And one of the most crazy, indulgent, but worth-it beauty products is the SK-II face mask. Yes, ...
Day 21 - SK-II Face Mask You’ve reached the end! And one of the most crazy, indulgent, but worth-it beauty products is the SK-II face mask. Yes, it’s worth the hype. Yes, you could buy a pair of Rag & Bone jeans with the price of 10 masks. But I haven’t found a mask yet that is as good as this one is -- and after surviving 21 straight days of astrological perdition, you, deserve it. Photo: Courtesy photo
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