Well this is depressing. Two recent studies from the University of Toronto probed the underlying reasons married couples have sex, reports the Wall Street Journal. Researchers found that it’s not about lust, boredom, bribery, or just plain good times, but that most of our motivations fall into two camps: approach or avoidance.
Common reasons included: “I want to avoid conflict,” “I don’t want to feel guilty,” “I want to increase intimacy with my spouse,” and the always-promising “I want to feel better about myself.”
More importantly, the reasons you get frisky tonight may have lasting repercussions on the future health of your relationships, says the study. Participants in the study who had sex mostly for positive reasons reported higher sexual satisfaction at the end of the four-month period, while people who had sex mostly for “avoidance” reasons reported terrible sex lives and no longer desired their partners. I’m no marriage counselor, but maybe the secret is to treat every night like a one-night stand? Keep that romance alive.