ScarJo Named Sexiest Lady of Our Year 2013

Photo: Ian Gavan/Getty Images

It’s early October, so you have perhaps found yourself wondering why we don’t yet know who is the sexiest woman of 2013. Wonder no more: Esquire magazine has named one Ms. Scarlett Johansson the Sexiest Woman Alive this year.

Hold on a sexy minute though, you might say. Is it 2005 again? Good memory, Sexiest Woman Alive connoisseur. Scarlett Jo also prevailed seven years ago—but Esquire notes that she is even sexier this decade. She is the first woman to claim this title twice.

So, how sexy is Scarlett? Here is a selection of words and phrases from the article, in the order that they appear, that convey this woman’s desirability: “Oh, for a muse of fire”; “small, ringless finger”; “ass”; “cheek”; “you feel that voice”; “a woman who will share her sandwich“; “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof“; “offering ascendant beauty in every scene”; “so mutable, more slender than buxom and fleshy”; and, finally, “flesh-tearing supernatural.”

As a further testament to her sexiness, author Tom Chiarella also devotes a significant portion of the article to his own fidgeting nervousness in the presence of Johansson. He expresses embarrassment over saying crudités instead of vegetables. He flubs a simple saying: “A bird in hand is worth two in the bird.” He describes wondering whether to look at her ass: “I didn’t look at her ass. I don’t know that she wanted me to. Probably not. Surely not. In any case, I didn’t.”

Johansson herself, meanwhile, emphasizes her current exhaustion and sense of professional obligation. She’s overworked and tired and wants little more than to sleep in and read the paper, she says. Given her busy schedule, will she have time, asks Chiarella, to accept the Sexiest Woman title and all its duties? Johansson has an honest answer. Accepting a title like this is a reluctant career move:

You know, I gotta hustle. I’m a twenty-eight-year-old woman in the movie business, right? Pretty soon the roles you’re offered all become mothers. Then they just sort of stop. I have to hedge against that with work — theater, producing, this thing with Esquire … Sounds pretty bloodless, I guess.

So, now you know: The Sexiest Woman Alive in this year 2013 is unenthusiastic, a little tense about her future, and still part of the hustle.

ScarJo Named Sexiest Lady of Our Year 2013