Shanghai Daily reports that 750 kilograms of hair (that’s 1,650 pounds, for those of us not on the metric system) were seized in a crackdown at China’s border. “Raw” or unprocessed human hair is classified as waste — gross — and cannot be imported according to the law. The value amount for hair seized was roughly $12,000. It’s speculated that the hair came from Ruili, an adjoining area of Myanmar. We will limit our puns to calling this a “hairy situation” and to speculation about possible punny names for a hair-smuggling ring. Suggestions below are welcome, as we suspect this won’t be the last unbe-weavable (hi, commenter Ian Edwards) hair caper we hear about.