This $400,000 18th Birthday Party Seems Like Torture

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Teen birthday parties are a supposedly fun thing we hope never to do again. In memory, they are minefields of crushes that stress you out just by entering a room, people you don’t know you don’t like yet, and a handful of other people crying. They’re a mild sort of social hell.

In keeping with this theme, two parents in Essex decided to celebrate their daughters’ 18th birthdays by turning this hellish ritual into an actual carnival-themed nightmare.

Hiring party planner Steve Duggan, who is known for working with every teenage girl’s favorite icons (Simon Cowell and Elton John), the parents shelled out 250,000 pounds for this terrifying wonderment. Duggan reports that this is one of the most extravagant parties he has ever planned. (Please note the first sentence in this paragraph reported that he has planned parties for Elton John.)

Duggan reports that he plans between three and four of these types of parties for teens each year.

So, what nightmare wonders did Duggan dig up for these 18-year-olds? Here are just a handful of the pricey, alarming party extras:

• Models, hired to breathe fire
• Snazzy entrance via “golf buggy”
• A featured cocktail called Porn Star Martini. It involves Champagne, vodka, and passion fruit liqueur. Welcome to being, 18, kidlets.
• A electro-pink, lavender light scheme
• Cirque du Soleil acrobats hanging around to make everyone feel both uncomfortable and inflexible
• 90 props
• Floating carousel horses as a few of these 90 props
• Performers named D.J. Ironik, D.J. Scorche, Chipmunk, and a Hackney rapper Professor Green who is potentially a hackneyed rapper
• VIP area

Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t really look like people had much fun.

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This $400K 18th Birthday Party Seems Like Hell