Dorothy Howe, a 100-year-old tough cookie in England, has only two shout-outs on her birthday: cigarettes and whiskey. Not only does she praise this pair of oft-criticized consumables, she also credits them as the two things that have kept her in the shippest of shape.
It’s her own personal turn-of-the-century, so she can give whatever accolades she wants to. She also mentions that her Howe-specific health plan is doctor confirmed:
I put my health down to whisky and cigarettes. I only drink when I’m out but my doctor said I wouldn’t be alive without them. I’m still alive and I can lift my elbows - it’s great. I’ve had a great life and God has treated me very well. I’ve been very lucky.
Howe reports that she has smoked 15 cigarettes a day since she was 16 (you can do that math, but also you can just choose not to and trust that this is an enormous number of cigarettes). She has lost a bit of taste for the price of cigarettes, but her other pillar is still as choice as it ever was:
Whiskey tastes just as good as it used to though. My pins aren’t as fast as they used to be, but my mind is still sharp.
Pins! Lady can turn a phrase.
While we should all describe our joints as pins from here onwards, certainly, Howe’s praise of her lucky consumables is not prescriptive. But if you’ve already fallen for this tried-and-true pairing, this fantastic centenarian is your personal hero and mentor from afar — and your excuse when anyone glances at you funny.
(Wild, wild women were not mentioned, but also not explicitly excluded, either.)