An op-ed from the Boston Globe today reveals that the struggles of 6 million unemployed millennials have nothing to do with our current economic climate or anything like that. No, the real problem lies in the fact that millennials have no job-finding or life-developing skills and want to remain pampered, coddled, and inert. They’re “trophy kids,” argues Jennifer Graham. You know, like trophy wives.
Before you roll your eyes, there are some similarities between trophy wives and the related genus, trophy kids. Both groups are prisoners of their elder breadwinner’s success.
Much like their trophy wife predecessors, trophy kids also favor: Rachel Ray, Martha Stewart, four-car garages, master suites, and cathedral ceilings in suburban homes. They frequent the same habitats, only leaving their luxurious pads to go to the neighborhood gym. Both are livin’ the freakin’ dream, and both make sure they look precious enough in “matching Hanna Andersson pajamas” to continue reaping the financial windfall of someone else’s hard work. Eureka! It all makes sense now.