Wealthy New York City teens have dubbed their homecoming after-parties “rando-fests,” the New York Post reports, “because the goal is to have sex with ‘randos’— code for ‘unattractive girls.” Even teenagers need lots of alcohol to hook up with randos: 75 percent of seniors and 50 percent of sophomores reportedly do shots before attending the parties, thrown in rented-out venues with bouncers and no booze. “I feel like it’s not so much peer pressure like ‘the cool kids are drinking,’ but if you’re not, it’s just a really awkward experience,” a female student told the student paper at Horace Mann. Or at least you can postpone the discomfort until awkward Mondays: “a common phrase in the halls, where students complain about having to see the person they got frisky with over the weekend.” Or until your parents read about it in a letter from the school. “Going to these events is not in your children’s best interests,” the Horace Mann administration recently warned parents. Awkward.