13-year-old Sylar Davis was recently kicked out of his Kansas middle school for carrying a quilted Vera Bradley cross-body purse. Young Davis, who had been carrying the bag since August without issue, has been indefinitely suspended until he ceases to wear such disruptive clothing, like this handbag favored by craft-loving mallgoers everywhere.
At first, I thought,This is horrible, this is flagrant discrimination — but oy vey, does the bag in question have to be Vera Bradley? But then, you know, he’s probably the only person in the world to pull off a VB cross-body and still look pretty good. Davis will continue to wear his bag until justice is served: “It expresses myself and everyone else can wear it so I can wear it as well,” he said on local Kansas news. Listen, kid, not everyone else can wear a Vera Bradley. Only you, you special unicorn.