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holidaze
December 23, 2013

How to Passive-Aggressively Communicate With Your Family Using Only Nail Polish

By Kathleen Hou

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Photo: Photos: Melissa Hom, Shutterstock.com

No matter how old you are, being home for the holidays means confronting at least one family member you’d rather not talk to. Perhaps you’re afflicted with revertigo from sleeping in your childhood (twin) bed. You and your boyfriend have to be “woken up.” Your cousin won’t stop talking about her pregnancy when all you want to do is watch free premium TV. You regress into your sullen, teen self, complete with the plaid shirt you wore all through high school. You communicate in grunts, wails (Who ate all the chips? Daaaaad, can I use the car?), and shrugs. It’s not pretty.

This holiday season, let your nail polish names do the talking. Try Essie’s Trophy Wife, OPI’s I Don’t Give a Rotterdam, or Sally Hansen’s Bad to the Bone, for starters. Click through the slideshow for twelve colors with equally colorful names to nail your passive-aggressive communication skills with your family over the holidays.

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1 / 12 Photos
Rumours and Lies No, I don't know why Cousin Jenny said she saw me twerking on Facebook. Photo: Melissa Hom; Shutterstock.com
Call Me Irresponsible Yes, I did text my old high-school crush to see if he was home for the holiday, too. Photo: Melissa Hom; Shutterstock.com
I'm Not Really a Waitress My tweets are very important to people, okay? I'm building my brand. Photo: Melissa Hom; Shutterstock.com
Trophy Wife Yes, I do need to go to hot yoga every morning this week. I have goals. Photo: Melissa Hom; Shutterstock.com
Cake Hole As in, please shut yours. Photo: Melissa Hom; Shutterstock.com
Bad to the Bone Because I've been to a vegan strip club. Photo: Melissa Hom; Shutterstock.com
Tart With a Heart I may dress as a slutty Marie Antoinette for Halloween, but I care about Obamacare. Photo: Melissa Hom; Shutterstock.com
Sugar Daddy Responsible for: High thread-count sheets. The best hospice care for my ailing bulldog. Kale chips. My flight home. Photo: Melissa H... Sugar Daddy Responsible for: High thread-count sheets. The best hospice care for my ailing bulldog. Kale chips. My flight home. Photo: Melissa Hom; Shutterstock.com
I Don't Give a Rotterdam I know, Mom, you were married and pregnant by my age. Photo: Melissa Hom; Shutterstock.com
Diamond Geezer Meanwhile, I know you met your new girlfriend on SeekingArrangement.com, Uncle Silas. Photo: Melissa Hom; Shutterstock.com
Good Girl Gone Bad Daddy's little girl doesn't even have sex with someone with a body. Photo: Melissa Hom; Shutterstock.com
Emotions After all, drinking is bad, but feelings are worse. Photo: Melissa Hom; Shutterstock.com
1 / 12

Tags:

  • beauty
  • nails
  • nail polish
  • essie
  • opi
  • sally hansen
  • butter london
  • deborah lippmann
  • topshop
  • holidaze
  • middle finger usage
  • candy
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