Esquire, a magazine for men seeking “fuller, richer, more informed and rewarding” lives, has finally ascertained a sort of man life baseline. They have determined what constitutes a normal man, and they have done it using extensive surveys, written essays, and prepared quizzes.
While Esquire seems to intend its quiz for men only, there are no explicit guidelines regarding the gender of quiz-takers. So any old person can figure out if she is a male weirdo, if she so chooses!
Here are ways in which I am similar to a normal bro:
• I like golf “not even a little bit” (similar to 37 percent of men)
• I would like attending a Coldplay concert “not even a little bit” (similar to 45 percent of men)
• My primary feeling upon entering a party is curious, and filled with questions including, but not limited to: Who’s gonna be there? Will there be anything to eat? (like 40 percent of dudes)
• I apply moisturizer on the regular (similar to 56 percent of men)
Despite these similarities, Esquire told me I was “OFFICIALLY WEIRD,” in the vein of Carrot Top and Steve Jobs. Sounds fair, I suppose.