banjoingles on the moon

Kate Upton and Her ‘Ladies’ Went to Space

Photo: photos: Getty Images,

Damn, Kate Upton, you must be an astronaut, ‘cause you are out of this world! No, but really: For the 50th anniversary of the Swimsuit Edition, Sports Illustrated editors got together to brainstorm the only location that could draw even more attention to Upton’s chest — and decided to photograph the 21-year-old in a zero-gravity chamber, says the New York Post. Kind of like that scene in Gravity where Sandra Bullock floats gracefully around in her underwear, only if Sandra Bullock had big hair, was wearing a silver Barbarella-esque swimsuit, and had a “weightless ample bosom.”
A cursory Google search of what happens to breasts when there is no gravity reveals phrases like bobbing weightlessly and so distracting, and many questions about bras. So already it seems like this might have been Upton’s most taxing photo shoot to date. While waiting for NASA to respond with a more scientific explanation of what might occur, we’ll just be here brainstorming space boob jokes: “Houston, we have boobs.” “One small step for man, two huge steps for the subscribers of Sports Illustrated everywhere.” Or, in the words of V, simply: “The bajoingles have landed.”