Last night, Reddit rang in 2014 with an Ask Me Anything featuring a man with two fully functioning, almost evenly sized penises. The subject, who went by the screen name DoubleDickDude and posted a couple of obligatory (and deeply NSFW) photos as proof, sounds as confident as you’d expect a dude with two dicks to be (very). And because the mostly single-dick-having population of Reddit was exactly as curious about this guy’s life as you’d expect them to be (very), the questions went on for hours.
First, the basics: DoubleDickDude’s condition is “Diphallia, not an absorbed twin. It’s not genetic or inherited.” (Needless to say, it is very rare.) He identifies as bisexual and is currently “in a committed relationship with a man and a woman” who, he later explained, were “a couple before they mutually started dating me.” Of course, there is a lot in there about how DoubleDickDude pees, receives blow jobs, masturbates, has sex, and wears pants, but — while we appreciate his candor — it turns out that reading pages of a guy’s descriptions of how his two penises function is about as interesting as hearing about the workings of one penis (not very, after a while). However, the Q&A does contain some helpful reminders everyone can use, regardless of how many dicks they have.
Nothing builds self-esteem like parents who love you just the way you are: DoubleDickDude’s parents told him, “I had two for a reason. I knew from an early age I was special.” As for why they didn’t have their son’s extra member removed? “Because I was born with it for a reason. My mom admitted recently she had no idea what that reason was, but it’s there so it stays there. Glad she did, after everything because I really am one in millions. Besides the ego boost it really makes a person feel special knowing there is likely no one else like you alive right now. And if they are, they are probably all fucked up with other problems.”
People are slightly more accepting of differences than you’d expect: In response to a question about how women react to seeing two penises on one guy, DoubleDickDude wrote, “It varies from girl to girl. Some have been like WOW. some have been like THATS FAKE! some have freaked out like, called me names. Most are pretty curious, but i dont have casual sex anymore, i stopped a few years back. Didnt like the empty feeling inside after a 1 night stand. did a lot of those in my late teens. A LOT of them. but for the most part, girls were nervous and some changed their mind at the last minute. dudes NEVER change their mind, they always want it even if they’re freaked out a little. lol”
Know your worth: When asked whether he’d ever considered doing pornography, DoubleDickDude replied, “Yes I did, a few years ago. But decided against it. it’s one thing to be unique it’s another thing to be a novelty. i’d only be popular for so long and then i’d just be another blip in the hiccup of the porn business. the pay is shit from what ive seen and I don’t need money, I’m comfortable now. Besides, i can’t figure a value for my dignity. the only reason I let photos out is because i thought people might like to know, at least one guy with two normal dicks exists. all the others are pretty scary looking and i feel for them.”
Even people with lives that seem enviable have problems: “My prostate gets inflamed if I dont ejaculate enough,” DoubleDickDude wrote. “I’m probably the only guy with a legit reason to orgasm at least once every day or two days. My prostate gets stimulation from both cocks and creates a lot of seminal fluid. So when i cum it has to be squeezed every few days to get all the excess out. otherwise it feels bloated and painful.”
Don’t spend too much time worrying about things you can’t change: When asked how having two dicks “[impacts] daily life,” DoubleDickDude answered, “I guess if I woke up one morning with an extra dick, i could answer that. But it’s been there my whole life. dunno how to answer that.”