fake feuds

Gwyneth-Gate Is Officially Not a Goop Coup

Photo: Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images

The March Vanity Fair is here! The one that contains the long-awaited “epic takedown” of Gwyneth Paltrow that promised to rain Goop truth-bombs and detonate explosive revelations. The one that allegedly had Paltrow so scared she appealed to George Clooney and friends to keep quiet.

Welp, sorry, kids, there are no bombs. Just lots of feelings. In this month’s Editor’s Letter, Graydon Carter — who was apparently so gleefully ready to dismantle the protective Paltrow’s “cone of celebrity” — reveals that the Vanessa Grigoriadis article is a “reasoned, reported essay on the hate/love-fest that encircles Gwyneth Paltrow.”

In one explanation, he dashes all of our dreams and expectations: the feud wasn’t really a feud, just a little misunderstanding; the e-mail plea to famous friends to decline interviews was never sent, and the planned competing Oscar dinner by Gwyneth’s camp? No Goop-planned menu on Oscar night. He writes: “The fact is the Gwyneth Paltrow story, the one we ordered up, as delightfully written as it was, is not the one the anti-Gwynethites expect.”

What does she have on you, Carter? What does she have?

Gwyneth-Gate Is Officially Not a Goop Coup