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Watch: Kristen Schaal Decodes the Tao of Princeton Mom

Princeton Mom may have been disavowed by the very university she loves, but at least The Daily Show’s Kristen Schaal is taking her “find a husband before it’s too late” advice to heart. In this video, Schaal spreads Susan Patton’s message of “panic and desperation” to places where it hits hardest: SoulCycle and elementary school nap-time.

It’s probably too late for us, but Schaal introduces “K-Date, the leading kindergarten-singles network,” so at least someone can snag a man before “precious eggs” start “jumping out of your vagina like rats from a sinking ship.” See all this and more in the clip below. 

Watch: Kristen Schaal Decodes Princeton Mom