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April 10, 2014

And Now, Our $300K Birthday Wish List

By Stella Bugbee and Allison P. Davis

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According to the New York Times, it is now completely acceptable, even charming, to make wish lists for your birthday and disseminate them among your friends. This, folks, is an idea that the new Overspenders can fully endorse. Because what is the point of even being born if not to make people show how much they appreciate you in financially measurable amounts?

After all, the Overspenders have been very generous with our friends over the past year: inviting them to our party pad in Coachella, sharing our lobster salad in our Hamptons manse, and flying all over the world for their intimate European weddings. So, new friends and old, be sure to follow this list to the letter, because life is much too short to waste time exchanging high-end luxury items for other high-end luxury items. See our wish list in the slideshow ahead, and know that we tried very hard to keep things reasonable.

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1 / 20 Photos
Birthday-Party Outfit: ~$5,000 "When I get drunk at my birthday karaoke and leave my Proenza Schouler clutch in a cab, I will be able to use... Birthday-Party Outfit: ~$5,000 "When I get drunk at my birthday karaoke and leave my Proenza Schouler clutch in a cab, I will be able to use the force of this dress to bring it back to me." —APD
Simple Birthday Outfit: $16,100 "You can totally afford to get me these items. Just do that thing where you go without Starbucks for the nex... Simple Birthday Outfit: $16,100 "You can totally afford to get me these items. Just do that thing where you go without Starbucks for the next 20 years." —SB
Festival Dressing: ~$12,000 "Art fairs are music festivals for old people." —SB
A Small Work of Art: $55,000 "You will feel like such a good friend when you think of me in my Céline outfit, gazing into Francesco V... A Small Work of Art: $55,000 "You will feel like such a good friend when you think of me in my Céline outfit, gazing into Francesco Vezzoli's Portrait of Jane Fonda Hating Jean-Luc Godard." —SB
Telescope and Antique Constellation Chart: $6,050 "As Copernicus once said, 'You haven't really seen the stars until you've seen them throug... Telescope and Antique Constellation Chart: $6,050 "As Copernicus once said, 'You haven't really seen the stars until you've seen them through a solid-gold telescope.'" —APD
Age-Innapropriate Hobby: $2,875 "It's never too late to realize my dreams of being a listless rocker. I hear you only need to know three cho... Age-Innapropriate Hobby: $2,875 "It's never too late to realize my dreams of being a listless rocker. I hear you only need to know three chords anyway.” —APD
Dilettante Hobby: $24,000 "I would be the next David Hockney if I had enough film to waste while perfecting my skills." —SB
Novelty Home Décor: $18,350 "Vinyl sounds so much warmer than an MP3." —APD
Home Décor Upgrades: ~$12,140 "I mean, I totally get it if you don't want to spring for the geometric chandelier, so I included the H... Home Décor Upgrades: ~$12,140 "I mean, I totally get it if you don't want to spring for the geometric chandelier, so I included the Hermès change tray as a cheap and cheerful alternative." —SB
White Leather Culottes: $1,900 "Are they pants or a skirt? Who cares — they're made of white leather." —APD
Everyday Shoe and Bag: $4,935 "Obviously Louboutin makes the only flat that offers enough orthopedic support." —APD
Kinder, Gentler Footwear: $3,440 "I can pair these with matching sweat suits, as I transition to granny chic." —SB
Upgraded Daywear: $22,100 "The camera will help me take my best selfies in my new basics." —APD
Signature Lipstick: $500 "By this age, I should know which lipstick shade suits me best. Or, if they're by Tom Ford: all of them." —APD... Signature Lipstick: $500 "By this age, I should know which lipstick shade suits me best. Or, if they're by Tom Ford: all of them." —APD
3-Day Birthday Excursion: $57,875 "My youthful spirit will always favor camping and road trips. But now that means taking my fully restored ... 3-Day Birthday Excursion: $57,875 "My youthful spirit will always favor camping and road trips. But now that means taking my fully restored vintage Airstream trailer to an all-inclusive dude ranch in Montana." —APD  
10-Day Birthday Excursion: $8,500 "One week is just simply not enough." —SB
Permanent Reminder of My Own Mortality: $30,000 "If I must keep track of the passing minutes of my life, let it be with a beautiufl Cartier ... Permanent Reminder of My Own Mortality: $30,000 "If I must keep track of the passing minutes of my life, let it be with a beautiufl Cartier yellow-gold watch." —APD
Hermès Gift Boxes: ~$50 each (used) "If you're going to get me exactly what I want, then go the extra mile and wrap it in an Herm&egr... Hermès Gift Boxes: ~$50 each (used) "If you're going to get me exactly what I want, then go the extra mile and wrap it in an Hermès box. That way I can casually style my collection of empty boxes when Elle Decor drops by to photograph my home office." —SB
Custom Note Cards: $1,088 "You deserve a nice handwritten thank-you note after all, so buy us some stationery and we'll get right on that.&q... Custom Note Cards: $1,088 "You deserve a nice handwritten thank-you note after all, so buy us some stationery and we'll get right on that." —SB and APD
Rare Pappy Van Winkle for Birthday Toast: $550 "Please make adulatory speeches as smooth as this 15-year bourbon." —APD
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