Taylor Swift’s albums are full of not-so-subtle references to her constant flow of high-profile boyfriends. But this year, T. Swift’s ditched famous boyfriends and is instead pouring her energy into collecting and nurturing intimate (and Instagrammable) friendships with high profile BFFs. One week it’s Lorde, than Haylee (Steinfeld), then Karlie (Kloss), then Selena (Gomez), then back to Karlie. Without a boyfriend present, will her fun times and intense relationships with a bevy of famous women provide inspiration for her next album? The Cut thinks yes, and has suggested some sample lyrics inspired by her BFFs, should she require our songwriting assistance.
Haylee Steinfeld: “Seventeen”
I don’t know about you,
but I hate being over 22.
Everything will be all right,
if we forget I’m grown up.
You are so lucky that you
are still a teen.
So let’s keep dancing like we’re
Gwyneth Paltrow: “I Knew You Were Vegan”
I knew you were vegan ‘cuz you’re so thin.
So I threw my food right out.
Made me think that cheese was a horrid sin.
Now I’m starving, and I want food now.
Ed Sheeran: “Fake Boyfriend”
Every girl needs one.
A friend when you got none.
They keep making guesses
but just let the world spin.
They don’t need to know that
you’re my fake boyfriend.
Karlie Kloss: “We Are Never Ever Ever (Making Other Friends)”
I remember when we first met (the first time).
I said, “I’m gonna get your hair cut.” (And I did.)
You thought, “Is this Single White Female?”
(It’s normal. I’ll call you.)
Ooooh, we took a road trip to Big Sur.
Ooooh, this time I’m telling you,
I’m telling you: We are never, ever, ever
everrrr, being friends with others.
Lorde: “Shake Shack Shake”
I’m ready to end this feud.
Let’s just go get some food.
Like feminism, milkshakes, beaches:
Darling, we could have it all.
It’s a Shake Shack peace shake.
Baby, let’s be friends.
Selena Gomez: “Bad Boyfriend”
You wanna be my friend,
bake cookies in my Nashville mansion,
until he’s calls like, “Baby Baby Baby,” please
and has you back on your knees.
Sarah Hyland: “You Made My A-List”
Just because you’re on Modern Family,
the rest of the world sees a B.
But you are
an A-lister to me.
Kate Middleton: “Do You Imagine? (I Do)”
I bet you’re sitting in your castle,
looking out over London.
I bet sometimes you wonder about me.
So, just want to tell you:
It takes everything in me
not to text you.
I just want to hang out with you.
Imagine me and you? I do.
Meredith the Errand Cat: “Meow’d About You”
Meow. Meow. Meow’d about you.
Tina Fey: “Last Word”
You’re saving me a special place in hell?
Fine, ‘cuz I don’t wish you well.
You might be a queen of comedy,
but this song is comin’ from me.
My last word is:
Lemon. I think you’re a nerd.