Caftan body? Check. Cufflinks made by a Yugoslavian prince? Check. André Leon Talley has got this. When readying his trousseau for the hotly anticipated, geographically ambiguous Kimye wedding shenanigans this weekend, he didn’t stuff some old cutoffs and holey T-shirts into a beat-up weekender like the rest of us are doing for Memorial Day. No, no. Talley is sharing his entire packing list with Vogue, and it includes dinner caftans.
To be honest, we don’t know how those are different from regular caftans, but he’s bringing multiple ones, and they are by Valentino Haute Couture. He’s also rolling with some capes, which, “due to my height, [each] take up one heavy-duty nylon hockey gear bag from the Container Store.” He’s bringing La Prairie Skin Caviar, season two of Call the Midwife, and Arianna Huffington’s Thrive (never stop gunning for that third metric), all to be carried in an enormous man-purse. His cufflinks are designed by Prince Dimitri of Yugoslavia, who we’re guessing is some kind of prince who moonlights as a cufflink designer. His socks are from “the store in Rome where the cardinals and clergy of the Catholic church buy their essential wardrobes.” (Meanwhile, you know fellow guest Steve Wozniak is just rolling some tube socks into a carry-on and calling it a day.)
Considering he’s so fancy and well accessorized, you’d think Talley would feel A-OK about his travel style. After all, he did feel comfortable sharing his underwear choices with the magazine. But a bit of anxiety creeps into his voice when he talks about luggage. “I did buy two new T. Anthony bags on sale, in January — you never who might see you at the luggage carrousel [sic] at JFK, and make mental notes of one’s luggage.” Yes, because if you saw André Leon Talley swanning around an airport wearing a couture caftan, your takeaway would clearly be “Ugh. That man needs to upgrade his luggage game.”