no makeup

When Bros Say They Like the ‘Natural Look,’ They Lie

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Despite claims from charming bros about how girls are so much prettier without makeup, the actions of these dudes indicate otherwise: Women wearing makeup in dating-profile photos receive three times as many messages as ladies without.

Zoosk, a dating app and survey-conductor, analyzed 1,200 female profiles to determine exactly what sort of makeup attracts male attention. Women wearing eye makeup get 139 percent more first messages; lipstick gets 119 percent more first messages; blush comes in with 24 percent more first messages.

“Like, what even is this, an instrument of the Spanish Inquisition?” men say while holding up an eyelash curler and thinking: You better employ this to the prettiest effect. “Is that going to get on my face?” dudes say while dubiously eyeing your lipstick, while thanking the heavens above that you have covered your pale mouth with some damn-thick pigment. Mendacity, all of it.

Bros Don’t Actually Like the ‘Natural Look’