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imaginary events
June 2, 2014

A Random List of Utterly Impractical, Imaginary Celebrity Wedding Locations

By Maggie Lange

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Photo: Getty Images

“The uniqueness of the place is more important than the practicality of a place,” says Preston Bailey, a sought-after celebrity wedding planner, as a way of explaining why the fanciest of couples seem to be hosting weddings in the most inaccessible locations. “The good news,” he continues, “is the industry has grown to such a place that almost anything is possible.”

Anything, like a “hippie rave” in a carpeted desert in Marrakech; like (allegedly) lifting a 50-foot-tall golden tower of toilets into an inaccessible Florentine fort. A National Park, America’s natural heritage, can be the site of your fantastic matrimony if you want it badly enough.

Marcy Blum, another desired wedding planner to the wealthy and famous, calls these inaccessible weddings “off-premise weddings.” She says the structures built for her weddings are sometimes even more complicated than the West-Kardashian Double Nuptials. Blum says two of the past weddings she has coordinated involved veritable tent cities, with central pavilions and tented connected walkways.

Bailey says that double (even triple!) destination weddings are increasingly common — because after all, if you’re asking people to shlep to one location, you might as well ask them to shlep again. “It’s all in the hopes of keeping them entertained and amused,” he says. “If you’re traveling that far, you want the element of surprise.”

A wedding can be anywhere! The world is your marriage-bliss oyster. Certainly someone could probably set up camp atop the Brooklyn Bridge if you asked the right person nicely enough. But where else? Click through this slideshow for some of the world’s most unfeasible locations — and the celebrities we’d like to get married there.

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Ms. Amal Allamuddin and Mr. George Clooney Joyfully Invite You To … Alcatraz! George Clooney will use the location as inspiration for a prison-br... Ms. Amal Allamuddin and Mr. George Clooney Joyfully Invite You To … Alcatraz! George Clooney will use the location as inspiration for a prison-break comedy about a ragtag bunch of new friends who have a penchant for that good old-timey music, pretty women, and getting caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. Amal Allamuddin will ponder the human-rights costs of the United States prison system.  Photo: 4FR/Getty Images
Mr. Johnny Depp and Ms. Amber Heard Await Your Arrival At …  The Dark Hedges in Ireland. While they considered marrying beneath the glowing ... Mr. Johnny Depp and Ms. Amber Heard Await Your Arrival At …  The Dark Hedges in Ireland. While they considered marrying beneath the glowing expanse of Alaska’s Northern Lights, the serpentine branches along the elongated dusty passages most resembled the entanglement of their two hearts.  Photo: BackyardProduction/Getty Images
Ms. Jennifer Aniston and Mr. Justin Theroux Call for the Contentment of Your Company At … At the Sea of Stars on Vaadhoo Island. This island... Ms. Jennifer Aniston and Mr. Justin Theroux Call for the Contentment of Your Company At … At the Sea of Stars on Vaadhoo Island. This island in the Maldives is host to hardworking marine microbes who create little capsules of light on the soft tide, like the ocean is filled with the galaxy. Obviously no unnatural lights will be allowed; but just know that Aniston will look perfectly put together. Photo: Doug Perrine/Corbis
Ms. Angelia Jolie and Mr. Brad Pitt Are Waiting for You At …  The Zhangjiajie National Forest Park in China, atop the tallest pillar. Each o... Ms. Angelia Jolie and Mr. Brad Pitt Are Waiting for You At …  The Zhangjiajie National Forest Park in China, atop the tallest pillar. Each of their children will stand atop a unique, proximate pillar. Guests may wait 3,540 feet below, on the ground, until the end of the ceremony. Photo: vichie81/Getty Images
Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy Behest Your Attendance …  Courtside at a Knicks game. Get ready for lots of making out! No need to even ... Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy Behest Your Attendance …  Courtside at a Knicks game. Get ready for lots of making out! No need to even clink glasses. Photo: James Devaney/Getty Images
Lauren Conrad and William Tell Want You to Show Up At …  Lake Retba, Senegal. It’s pink! Because of its algae (gross), but truly, it’s this ... Lauren Conrad and William Tell Want You to Show Up At …  Lake Retba, Senegal. It’s pink! Because of its algae (gross), but truly, it’s this wonderfully lovely pastel shade. It’s the lake version of Lauren Conrad.  Photo: Nik Wheeler/Corbis
Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo Say Be There or Be Square! There Is ... The Mall of America. Bland, scruffy, commercially viable: They love it.&n... Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo Say Be There or Be Square! There Is ... The Mall of America. Bland, scruffy, commercially viable: They love it.  Photo: Richard Cummins/Getty Images
A$AP Rocky and Chanel Iman Cordially Invite You To …  Urup Island, an uninhabited volcanic outcropping in Russia. It’s a trek, fit only for ... A$AP Rocky and Chanel Iman Cordially Invite You To …  Urup Island, an uninhabited volcanic outcropping in Russia. It’s a trek, fit only for those who are always striving, always prospering.  Photo: Kevin Schafer/Corbis
Ms. Scarlett Johansson and Mr. Romain Dauriac Would Be Okay Meeting You At … Any city but Paris. Cleveland work for you kids? Cleveland it is.&nb... Ms. Scarlett Johansson and Mr. Romain Dauriac Would Be Okay Meeting You At … Any city but Paris. Cleveland work for you kids? Cleveland it is.  Photo: Kenneth Sponsler/Getty Images
Ms. Allison Williams and Mr. Ricky Van Veen Request the Honor of Your Presence At …  The American Girl Doll Store. They will rent the whole ... Ms. Allison Williams and Mr. Ricky Van Veen Request the Honor of Your Presence At …  The American Girl Doll Store. They will rent the whole place out for afternoon tea. Of course, everyone can bring their own dolls with them. But not Samantha, obviously; Ms. Williams has already claimed her.  Photo: Cindy Ord/Getty Images
Ciara and Future Invite You to … The Blue Dragon River in Portugal. If the couple wanted to insist their guests wore complementary shades, this w... Ciara and Future Invite You to … The Blue Dragon River in Portugal. If the couple wanted to insist their guests wore complementary shades, this would be a good backdrop. Photo: Shutterstock.com
Ashlee Simpson and Evan Ross Want You At ... Any local Hot Topic.  Photo: Steven Georges/Corbis
Emma Roberts and Evan Peters Request the Pleasure of Your Company At …  The Island of the Dolls, in a swamp south of Mexico City. It’s an is... Emma Roberts and Evan Peters Request the Pleasure of Your Company At …  The Island of the Dolls, in a swamp south of Mexico City. It’s an island straight out of Ryan Murphy’s wildest American Horror Story imaginations, where evil-looking dolls hang from various flora. They hope you will make yourselves at home there for an extended celebration that might never end.  Photo: karlagarciav/Getty Images
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