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postmortems
August 25, 2014

The Best, Worst, and Most Overdone at the VMAs

By The Fug Girls

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Photo: Getty Images

This year, the VMAs red carpet was loud, confusing to the elderly (i.e., us), and rife with celebrities being moderately rude to poor co-host Lucy Hale. But, thank God, at least it wasn’t boring — even if Lucy might have preferred that to Miley Cyrus’s dismissiveness. Join us as we eyeball the highlights, the lowlights, the near-nudity, and the Beyoncé of it all.

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All the Looks From the VMAs Red Carpet
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1 / 17 Photos
Most Horrifying Surprise: Taylor Swift. It's no surprise to see Taylor in something short. But this Mary Katrantzou outfit isn't just short; it’s... Most Horrifying Surprise: Taylor Swift. It's no surprise to see Taylor in something short. But this Mary Katrantzou outfit isn't just short; it’s a leotard, and thus, not really an outfit at all. If you had "Taylor Swift wears camel-toe" in your VMAs red-carpet pool, please come talk to us about lottery numbers. Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images
Bangin'est: Jennifer Lopez. On the other hand, everyone had "sparkly, barely there" penciled in for J.Lo, and while this is predictable... Bangin'est: Jennifer Lopez. On the other hand, everyone had "sparkly, barely there" penciled in for J.Lo, and while this is predictable, it also shows off her totally insane body to amazing advantage. We can only hope the coverage level of her underpinnings is as unimpeachable as her abs. Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Best Flashback: Katy Perry. Katy tweeted that she was going for the "best worst dressed" at the VMAs, and she nailed it with this hilar... Best Flashback: Katy Perry. Katy tweeted that she was going for the "best worst dressed" at the VMAs, and she nailed it with this hilarious and cheeky nod to Britney and Justin’s matching denim looks from the 2001 VMAs. THIS is the type of cultural appropriation we need to be encouraging from Katy. Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images
Worst Flashback: Amber Rose. Rose McGowan hasn't been name-checked this much in years. She should probably write Amber a thank-you note for weari... Worst Flashback: Amber Rose. Rose McGowan hasn't been name-checked this much in years. She should probably write Amber a thank-you note for wearing the updated version of her infamous string dress from the 1998 VMAs. And Amber should write back and say, “No, thank YOU. Yours was still worse, so at least I come out ahead on this one.” Photo: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
Best Synergy Between Clothes and Single: Nicki Minaj. Minaj's new song is called "Anaconda," so it's probably not a coincidence that sh... Best Synergy Between Clothes and Single: Nicki Minaj. Minaj's new song is called "Anaconda," so it's probably not a coincidence that she's wearing a snake-print mini. But it's a fortunate turn of events that she looks chic and kicky in it. Wait. Is this a shout-out to the time Britney danced with the snake at the VMAs. Are we in some kind of VMAs wormhole? Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty; Images
Most Likely to Cross Over to the Emmys: Iggy Azalea. Azalea's silver Versace feels weirdly formal for an awards show where half of her fellow sin... Most Likely to Cross Over to the Emmys: Iggy Azalea. Azalea's silver Versace feels weirdly formal for an awards show where half of her fellow singers didn't even wear pants. Photo: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
Sauciest: Laverne Cox. This short, sparkly mini is basically the Platonic ideal of what an actress ought to wear to the VMAs: It's fun, it's flir... Sauciest: Laverne Cox. This short, sparkly mini is basically the Platonic ideal of what an actress ought to wear to the VMAs: It's fun, it's flirty, it says, "Hey, I'm basically just here for PR, but I might as well have a good time while I'm doing it." Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty Images
Biggest Indication That Someone Is Tired After a Year of Nonsense: Miley Cyrus. Leather parachute pants and a lazy tube top don’t say, “Yay, I’m ... Biggest Indication That Someone Is Tired After a Year of Nonsense: Miley Cyrus. Leather parachute pants and a lazy tube top don’t say, “Yay, I’m so happy to be here! This is so much fun for me.” They say, “Look, don’t even park the limo, okay? This is going to take as little time as possible, if I get my way.” Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty Images
Biggest “Ah, YES” Moment: Gwen Stefani. Gwen runs L.A.M.B., so it follows that she’d pull out something for herself that’s perfect. But this is S... Biggest “Ah, YES” Moment: Gwen Stefani. Gwen runs L.A.M.B., so it follows that she’d pull out something for herself that’s perfect. But this is SO Essence of Gwen, from the color to the cut to the styling, and it made us realize we’ve missed her on the red carpet AND on the radio. We’ve fixed one of those things, Gwen; how about the other? Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty Images
Biggest “Ugh, Again?” Moment: Beyoncé. When Beyoncé hit the red carpet in this Nicolas Jebran see-through number, it just felt like... Biggest “Ugh, Again?” Moment: Beyoncé. When Beyoncé hit the red carpet in this Nicolas Jebran see-through number, it just felt like more of the same from someone who used to pride herself on breaking new ground. We’re not saying we’re rooting for a divorce, because we like a happy couple, but ... if this breakup happens, the fringe benefit has GOT to be a kick-ass Revenge Wardrobe, right? RIGHT? Photo: 2014 Getty Images
Weirdest Choice: Chloë Grace Moretz. Well, we appreciate Moretz for not going in the Amber Rose direction, but this event is all about being... Weirdest Choice: Chloë Grace Moretz. Well, we appreciate Moretz for not going in the Amber Rose direction, but this event is all about being young and fun and sparkly, and those Louis Vuitton pants are anything but. They are allergic to fun. They threw fun off their lawn and then went to bed at 7:30. Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Better Choice: Lucy Hale. This is bright, it read well on TV and in photographs, it’s cutely styled, and it’s not stuffy. It manages to be exactl... Better Choice: Lucy Hale. This is bright, it read well on TV and in photographs, it’s cutely styled, and it’s not stuffy. It manages to be exactly what you’d expect a red-carpet co-host and ABC Family starlet to wear, while also making us look twice because it’s got unexpected flair to it. Lucy wore a second outfit when she arrived on the red carpet that wasn’t too shabby, either; maybe she can lend that to Chloë Grace? Photo: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
Most Homemade: Victoria Justice. It has to be homemade, right? This thing is a coffee filter and a manicured pack of Hefty bags. So ... she’s wea... Most Homemade: Victoria Justice. It has to be homemade, right? This thing is a coffee filter and a manicured pack of Hefty bags. So ... she’s wearing garbage on a metaphorical level and possibly a real one. Photo: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
Best Choice: Jeremy Scott. Is it ridiculous? Yes. But is it Jeremy Scott, and thus, par for the course? Yes. And if any event were to be a Jeremy... Best Choice: Jeremy Scott. Is it ridiculous? Yes. But is it Jeremy Scott, and thus, par for the course? Yes. And if any event were to be a Jeremy Scott Joint, it ought to be this one. Question: If Forrest Gump invented the smiley face, does Tom Hanks get a free one of these? Please, someone make that happen. Photo: MARK RALSTON/AFP/Getty Images; Steve Granitz/WireImage
Most Overdone: Ariana Grande. Never has an assortment of zippers and flaps seemed less functional. It’s like she decided to make a dress inspired... Most Overdone: Ariana Grande. Never has an assortment of zippers and flaps seemed less functional. It’s like she decided to make a dress inspired by a fanny pack. Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Craziest Rookie Performance: Rita Volk. Volk is the star of MTV’s Faking It, and accordingly, that’s what her dress appears to be doing. Photo: ... Craziest Rookie Performance: Rita Volk. Volk is the star of MTV’s Faking It, and accordingly, that’s what her dress appears to be doing. Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage
Worst Kardashian: Toss-up. Kendall always looks like she’s trying too hard to prove high-fashion cred; let your modeling portfolio do the talking... Worst Kardashian: Toss-up. Kendall always looks like she’s trying too hard to prove high-fashion cred; let your modeling portfolio do the talking, kid. Kim looks like she glued a table runner to her nipples. And Kylie just looks like she’s wearing another Kardashian’s hand-me-downs. There are no winners here. Which in this case I guess means they all win? How did they con us into that? Dammit, Kardashians. Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage
1 / 17

Tags:

  • fug girls
  • vmas
  • vmas 2014
  • taylor swift
  • jennifer lopez
  • nicki minaj
  • katy perry
  • amber rose
  • iggy azalea
  • laverne cox
  • miley cyrus
  • postmortems
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