In your periodic navel-gazing sessions, have you properly considered the aesthetic qualities of your umbilicus? Is its shape the ideal? Do its dimensions allow for perfect introspection? Is its orientation aligned for maximum analysis of your individual human condition?
Fear not, perplexed navel-gazer, the scientific community has rushed to answer your queries. Surgeons at the University of Singapore’s medical school analyzed images of belly buttons from 37 Playboy Playmates and published their results about the ideal belly button in the journal of the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. The best navels are: oval shaped, vertically oriented (with a 46:54 ratio), and horizontally positioned.
Whether people will flood plastic surgeons’ offices to fix their imperfect stomach dimples remains to be seen. But, doctors report that umbilicoplasty only takes 45 minutes, so it’s really not much time out of your day to sculpt a more ideal portal to your soul-searching.