The Fug Girls: Best and Worst of New York Fashion Week

MOST OVERPLAYED SONG: We heard versions of SBTRKT's "New Dorp. New York." so many times that we were basically all set to jump off the peak ... MOST OVERPLAYED SONG: We heard versions of SBTRKT's "New Dorp. New York." so many times that we were basically all set to jump off the peak of the Empire or Top of the Rock. Also, buy some vowels, SBTRKT.

MOST PRESSING QUESTION: The front rows were a bit anemic this year, in terms of true A-list punch. Is it because the Emmys already happened, and there... MOST PRESSING QUESTION: The front rows were a bit anemic this year, in terms of true A-list punch. Is it because the Emmys already happened, and there was no final push for publicity or the perfect gown? Is the Toronto Film Festival taking over as the place to be, and becoming the black hole sucking all the star power into its vortex? Whither January Jones and Christina Hendricks, or Renée Zellweger at her friend Carolina Herrera’s show, or the casts of a bunch of new shows that are in need of press? Can’t the networks give them a day off work? We didn’t even have a Most Omnipresent Person this time, because nobody pulled an Anna Kendrick and stuck it out the whole time. Here’s hoping February is full of awards-season shoppers and people with large holes in their schedules. Photo: Getty Images

MOST PAINFUL TIDBIT: When we ran into Orange Is the New Black's Emma Myles (Leanne) at Nonoo, she told us a story of the biggest on-set mishap she'd e... MOST PAINFUL TIDBIT: When we ran into Orange Is the New Black's Emma Myles (Leanne) at Nonoo, she told us a story of the biggest on-set mishap she'd experienced, and it gave us a headache. "We shoot in one location up in Rockland that's an abandoned children's psychiatric ward, and terrifying things happened there. And something bad always happens when we're there," she explained. "There was a scene [in season 2] when Taryn closes my head into the dryer, and in rehearsal, the first time, the stunt woman who did it to me had a slip, a total accident, and it just went slam right onto my head and I started bleeding. What we eventually shot, we had to do a week later than we planned because I had such a major bonk on the head." Fortunately, she seems fine. And I had my head slammed into a dryer pretty much wins any and all future creative arguments she might have on set, so keep that weapon in your arsenal, Emma. Photo: Courtesy of The Fugs

MOST ENDEARING TIDBIT: At Donna Karan, Masters of Sex’s Caitlin FitzGerald admitted to us that she made many youthful missteps in the name of tr... MOST ENDEARING TIDBIT: At Donna Karan, Masters of Sex’s Caitlin FitzGerald admitted to us that she made many youthful missteps in the name of trends: “I definitely went through a period in high school when I thought midriff-baring shirts were the way to go,” she told us. “Probably to complement my belly-button ring. Not a good look. There are some regrettable photos floating around." Of all of us, Caitlin. Trust. Photo: Jamie McCarthy/WireImage

BEST NEW GAME: We wish we’d invented and trademarked Orange Is the New Black Bingo, because we would have KILLED at it this week. Nearly every notewor... BEST NEW GAME: We wish we’d invented and trademarked Orange Is the New Black Bingo, because we would have KILLED at it this week. Nearly every noteworthy face in the cast made an appearance in someone’s front row or at their party: Taylor Schilling (Piper), Uzo Aduba (Crazy Eyes), Laverne Cox (Sophia), Taryn Manning (Pennsatucky), Dascha Polanco (Daya), Selenis Leyva (Gloria), Jackie Cruz (Flaca), Vicky Jeudy (Janae), Kimiko Glenn (Brook), Danielle Brooks (Taystee), Emma Myles (Leanne), and Alysia Reiner (Fig). Sorry to anyone who had Laura Prepon, Jason Biggs, or Kate Mulgrew in their office pools. Photo: Bottom right: Courtesy of The Fugs. All other photos by Getty Images

BEST TREND: Lovers of all things shiny, rejoice. We spied all manner of lamé and shiny, shiny fabrics on all sorts of runways this season. From... BEST TREND: Lovers of all things shiny, rejoice. We spied all manner of lamé and shiny, shiny fabrics on all sorts of runways this season. From Christian Siriano to Monique Lhuillier to Nonoo, to Queen of Sheen Betsey Johnson, every magpie ought to be able to find something that strikes her fancy.

WORST TREND: Babies as accessories. Listen, we love babies. We are about to spend seven months flipping out over one that’s going to be born across th... WORST TREND: Babies as accessories. Listen, we love babies. We are about to spend seven months flipping out over one that’s going to be born across the pond. But if you’re going to bounce Carmen on your lap during a runway show, Hilaria Baldwin, you might want to stick some headphones on her tender young ears. And did that weeks-old infant really need to come to Christian Siriano, or could perhaps the mother have given the show a miss just this once? Fashion shows are loud, and bright, and full of people banging each other around to try and get in and out. Let the kids stay home until they’re old enough to fight back. Photo: Theo Wargo/WireImage

MOST WELCOME COLOR COMBINATION: We loved seeing red paired with turquoise and light blues, from DKNY's street-chic casualwear to J. Mendel's more eleg... MOST WELCOME COLOR COMBINATION: We loved seeing red paired with turquoise and light blues, from DKNY's street-chic casualwear to J. Mendel's more elegant evening take. They're the kind of hues that could work in pretty much any season, and which we wish we could go home and wear right now.

SHOW THAT MADE US WISH WE DIDN’T WORK FROM HOME: Jason Wu’s second collection for Hugo Boss’s Boss Women line was full of clothes that would be casual... SHOW THAT MADE US WISH WE DIDN’T WORK FROM HOME: Jason Wu’s second collection for Hugo Boss’s Boss Women line was full of clothes that would be casually glam in the office during spring. We can’t justify upping our wardrobe budget just so the food in our fridge has a nice view when we open it ... can we?

MOST UNEXPECTED: We usually associate Carmen Marc Valvo with gowns, so it was exciting to hear that the designer was celebrating his line’s 25th anniv... MOST UNEXPECTED: We usually associate Carmen Marc Valvo with gowns, so it was exciting to hear that the designer was celebrating his line’s 25th anniversary by introducing a line of menswear. The big surprise was when the menswear was essentially just ... men. He should just call it Nipples and Spankies.

MOST AWKWARD TREND: We understand that, technically, this is autumn. And many of us are itching to dust off our leather, coats, and cashmere. But when... MOST AWKWARD TREND: We understand that, technically, this is autumn. And many of us are itching to dust off our leather, coats, and cashmere. But when it’s a sweltering and humid 90 degrees out, asking celebrities to deck themselves out in your brand’s fall-fashion finest seems borderline mean. We saw starlet Sami Gayle looking really green around the gills in a jeans and coat at Rebecca Taylor, and all the ladies in the Rebecca Minkoff front row had to model their given coats by draping them timidly over their shoulders. Cara Santana even wore what looked like cashmere at Lacoste on a hot Saturday. We know it’s air-conditioned inside the venues, but it’s nice sometimes to prolong the illusion that maybe these people picked out their clothes themselves.

MOST RANDOM SIGHTING: We love a dance movie as much the next person, but even we were surprised to see relative unknown Ryan Guzman in the front row a... MOST RANDOM SIGHTING: We love a dance movie as much the next person, but even we were surprised to see relative unknown Ryan Guzman in the front row at Lacoste. We had no idea the folks behind the alligator were so stoked about Step Up: All In. But, fun fact, he’s also in the new Jem and the Holograms movie, so maybe Lacoste was just all het up two years in advance for that one. Showtime, synergy. Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty Images

HOTTEST IN PERSON: Perhaps it’s all her coltish existential confusion from American Horror Story, but we didn’t expect Taissa Farmiga to be so gorgeou... HOTTEST IN PERSON: Perhaps it’s all her coltish existential confusion from American Horror Story, but we didn’t expect Taissa Farmiga to be so gorgeous and cheerful — nothing at all like a girl whose dead boyfriend got sewn back together. And photos don’t do justice to how smoothly Breaking Bad’s RJ Mitte can wear a suit. No offense to Connie Britton’s hair, nor to Uma Thurman, but we’re giving this one to the Youngs.

MOST EXACTLY LIKE YOU'D EXPECT THEM TO LOOK IN PERSON: In photos, Rashida Jones is that extremely pretty and cool-seeming woman whose clothes never do... MOST EXACTLY LIKE YOU'D EXPECT THEM TO LOOK IN PERSON: In photos, Rashida Jones is that extremely pretty and cool-seeming woman whose clothes never do her justice, and whose hair we are always desperate to brush. When we saw her in person, Rashida Jones was that extremely pretty and cool-seeming woman whose clothes didn’t do her justice, and whose hair we were desperate to brush. The surprise was that there was no surprise. Photo: Getty Images

CELEB WITH WHOM WE MOST WANT TO GET A BEER: Anna Chlumsky was a total delight at Zac Posen: friendly, personable, totally excited to chat in detail ab... CELEB WITH WHOM WE MOST WANT TO GET A BEER: Anna Chlumsky was a total delight at Zac Posen: friendly, personable, totally excited to chat in detail about her fantasy football team, and consistently subtly drawing her seatmate — DJ/drummer/actress Tennessee Thomas — into interactions when the press seemed to be passing her over in favor of Anna, an act of kindness that rarely happens at these things. Also, we liked her lipstick. Photo: Chelsea Lauren/Getty Images

MOST WELCOME: We were delighted to see Amy Schumer at Christian Siriano, and not just because she was a celeb we hadn’t already seen four times that d... MOST WELCOME: We were delighted to see Amy Schumer at Christian Siriano, and not just because she was a celeb we hadn’t already seen four times that day. She seemed both amused and detached from the entire experience, which was refreshing. You’ll get one of those from your typical front-row denizen, but rarely will you get both. Photo: Cindy Ord/Getty Images

SADDEST WE MISSED: We would have loved to have eyeballed Jessica Chastain’s new bangs in person at Michael Kors. They come across as rather misguided ... SADDEST WE MISSED: We would have loved to have eyeballed Jessica Chastain’s new bangs in person at Michael Kors. They come across as rather misguided in photos, but she always seems like such a good sport on the red carpet that we wonder if she’s got the personality to make them work in the flesh. We’ll find out eventually. Just you wait, Chastain. We’re coming. Photo: Getty Images

BEST PHOTO: Bar none, it’s the shot at Jeremy Scott of Miley’s face when Bella Thorne sprawled across her lap for a photo op. For all we know, they’re... BEST PHOTO: Bar none, it’s the shot at Jeremy Scott of Miley’s face when Bella Thorne sprawled across her lap for a photo op. For all we know, they’re best friends who were just mugging, and they braided each other’s lanyards later, just like at summer camp. But in that moment, Miley looked for all the world as if she smelled a big old pile of desperation and wasn’t sure she could wash it out of her clothes. Photo: Getty Images

MOST ENTHUSIASTIC REACTION TO A SHOW: Props to the dude who yelled “WHOOOO, BRITNEY!” at the end of her lingerie presentation. He just said what we we... MOST ENTHUSIASTIC REACTION TO A SHOW: Props to the dude who yelled “WHOOOO, BRITNEY!” at the end of her lingerie presentation. He just said what we were all thinking. Photo: Patrick McMullan

MOST-ENTERTAINING FACIAL HAIR: Shaun White, snowboarder and purveyor of hoodies and denim, currently has a pointy little goatee that makes him look li... MOST-ENTERTAINING FACIAL HAIR: Shaun White, snowboarder and purveyor of hoodies and denim, currently has a pointy little goatee that makes him look like the villain in a low-rent teen comedy. It’s secretly hilarious and he should keep it to intimidate his rivals (even though it might only amuse them to distraction). Photo: Getty Images

BEST SHOW EXPERIENCE: Alice + Olivia was in a huge, spacious ballroom at the Pierre, and had ample Champagne and easy eyeballing of models and celebs ... BEST SHOW EXPERIENCE: Alice + Olivia was in a huge, spacious ballroom at the Pierre, and had ample Champagne and easy eyeballing of models and celebs alike, which made it both relaxing and pleasantly fuzzy. This was a marked upgrade from last season, where we had to watch the entire show whilst perched in a topiary, pretty sure we were all going to die. Consider this positive reinforcement.

MOST ENTERTAINING ACCESSORIES: Donna Karan showed a series of Pharrell Hats on HGH, and Alice + Olivia had a model in a Marie Antoinette birdcage of... MOST ENTERTAINING ACCESSORIES: Donna Karan showed a series of Pharrell Hats on HGH, and Alice + Olivia had a model in a Marie Antoinette birdcage of a thing. We’re all in favor as long as we’re not sitting behind these people at the movies.

BEST USE OF THE POWER OF SUGGESTION: We wondered after Monique Lhuillier’s show why, God, why Jennifer Morrison continually insists on twisting her lo... BEST USE OF THE POWER OF SUGGESTION: We wondered after Monique Lhuillier’s show why, God, why Jennifer Morrison continually insists on twisting her lovely long blonde hair into a series of increasingly hideous topknots. Every single time we saw her thereafter, Jennifer’s hair was flowing, gorgeous, and unmolested. We don’t truly think we can take credit for it, but ... let’s just say we’re now musing out loud a lot about how Prince Harry will only be truly happy with a cranky American blogger.

MOST HONEST: We give Bella Thorne credit for turning a pat answer into something better. When asked what the best piece of advice is that she ever got... MOST HONEST: We give Bella Thorne credit for turning a pat answer into something better. When asked what the best piece of advice is that she ever got from her mother, Thorne responded, “To try to be the nicest person ever, to everyone, even when they aren’t being nice to you.” Then she winced and all but howled at the sky, “But it’s SOOOO HAAAAARD sometimes.” We probably didn’t make it any easier for her this week, but for what it’s worth, we never saw her drop her smile for any reporters. Her mom should be proud. Photo: Rob Kim/Getty Images

BEST LIFE MOTTO: At Naeem Khan, we overheard Kat Graham saying, “A girl can never get enough sequins.” She should sell that on a T-shirt. Made of sequ... BEST LIFE MOTTO: At Naeem Khan, we overheard Kat Graham saying, “A girl can never get enough sequins.” She should sell that on a T-shirt. Made of sequins. Photo: Brian Killian/Getty Images

BEST POETRY: We’re torn, because nothing stirred us so much as Miley’s Fucking Junk and Shit and “pop pop dumb dumb” comments, with respect to her col... BEST POETRY: We’re torn, because nothing stirred us so much as Miley’s Fucking Junk and Shit and “pop pop dumb dumb” comments, with respect to her collection of jewelry and sculpture for Jeremy Scott that look — presumably intentionally — like she went through Hello Kitty’s garbage cans. But nothing tops Britney’s mellifluous ode to her own lingerie creations, like, “What I wear when the sky is silky black,” and of course, “The sharp lines of [SOMETHING INARTICULATE] that keep the dash of daring mesh and scalloped edges where they belong.” If only she would set it to music. Photo: Getty Images; Patrick McMullan

BEST 14-YEAR-OLDS: We spied both Kiernan Shipka and Willow Shields (best known as Primrose Everdeen) this week, and they were each unfailingly articul... BEST 14-YEAR-OLDS: We spied both Kiernan Shipka and Willow Shields (best known as Primrose Everdeen) this week, and they were each unfailingly articulate, polite, charming, and likeable. Maybe there is hope for the future, after all. Photo: Getty Images

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