Miss America Is the Spray Tan of Scholarship Programs

Miss America, annual conveyer belt of brightly attired sash enthusiastsclaims to give out $45 million in scholarships to its participants. The organization repeatedly touts that it is “the world’s largest provider of scholarships for women.”

John Oliver and his team investigated this claim using math, and it was difficult to even find $4 million of scholarship funds given to contestants. However, that investigation was just using numbers. It’s sneaky language that validates this assertion. The Miss America Organization employs the word provides with devoted, liberal emphasis. For example, if it could provide each contestant with scholarships to four universities, the organization adds all these up to its grand total.

So, Miss America is the spray tan of scholarship programs, the fake eyelashes of scholarship programs, the hair extensions of scholarship programs. It’s there … but it’s also not really, you know?

Miss America: The Spray Tan of Scholarships