wow terrible

Study Reveals Terrible News: Low-Carb Diets Are Pretty Effective

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A new study published in the Annals of Internal Medicine and sponsored by the NIH suggests that a low-carbohydrate diet is more effective than a low-fat diet. That’s right: Medical authorities are saying carbs are the devil. Hope you didn’t want to end your day on a high note.

Researchers split a diverse group of dieters (ranging from 20s to mid-70s, both black and white) into two groups. The group that followed a low-carb diet for a year lost nearly eight pounds more than the low-fat diet group, even though they were eating the same number of calories. What’s more, those who cut back on refined carbohydrates burned off 150 more calories a day.

Of course, this is just one study and  there are infinite weight loss studies and conflicting research. Just hours after the NIH study was released, a paper in the The Journal of the American Medical Association found  that all diets—low-fat, low-carb (all ice cream?)—are pretty much equally  effective.

But if we choose to believe the NIH study, then we can delude ourselves no longer: At least one road to diet success (and hell) is devoid of delicious carbs.

In Memoriam:

White bread
Donut-white-bread-alcohol sandwiches
Oreo cookies
Lo mein noodles
Other kinds of pasta
The fantasy-hybrid pastabagel that we will never taste
Chips of all sorts
Funfetti cake

Thanks for all the memories.

Study: Low-Carb Diets Are Pretty Effective