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November 4, 2014

The 100 Most Insane Patterns on The Mindy Project in Order of Insanity

By Maggie Lange

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Photo: Fox

The Mindy Project is a sitcom in which the protagonist falls in love with a rotating assortment of handsome suitors and every single pattern she sees. There are floral explosions and plaids of all sorts; there are animal prints and prints of animals. And there is rarely just one print to contend with — there are many, worn all at the same time.

Just as darling Mindy cannot choose a fellow, she cannot commit to any one pattern. 

But order can be found in all chaos. So, join us for an indisputable ranking of the 100 most bonkers prints that Mindy Kaling’s character wears, in exact order of bonkers-ness. 

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1 / 100 Photos
A Plaid Comet Interrupts a Calm Constellation Dotted shirt, swatch tie, a spangled cardigan. Photo: Fox
A Thoughtful Clash There are stripes and there are dots, but they live in hue-harmony. Photo: Fox
Bold Lines Highlighter stripes and Wite-Out stripes: suitable for an office, for sure. Photo: Fox
An Efficient Tweed What does efficient mean in that context? Who knows, but it's a normal pattern, okay? Photo: Fox
An Average Stripe A few different colors in relatable shades. Not a big deal over here. Photo: Fox
An Age-Appropriate Stripe It looks a bit like a game board. Photo: Fox
A Deceptively Simple Flannel Here's a simple flannel, you thought for a second, and then you realized it's two different flannels that have been ... A Deceptively Simple Flannel Here's a simple flannel, you thought for a second, and then you realized it's two different flannels that have been BOUND together by fate and design. Photo: Fox
A Disruptive Tear in the Universe of a Pattern The very fabric of the cosmos has ripped apart in this loungewear. Photo: Fox
In Which the Universe is Torn Asunder: Part 2 Slightly more logical than its sister, at least this universe is not bright tangerine. Photo: Fox
A Sunrise Radius of a Dress Pattern Beaming.  Photo: Fox
An Electrical Tape Maze The trick is that there is no way out, so you just need to accept that you're stuck. Photo: Fox
A Color-Palette Parade Clementine, navy, maroon, aquamarine: Oh, just everything is invited to line up. Photo: Fox
A Houndstooth Zoom-In It's like if a big hound and a puppy hound went on a hunting trip together. Photo: Fox
Hospital Gown: A Conflict With Camouflage Can you believe this is the first instance of camouflage? I can't! Photo: Fox
Unnervingly Separated Dots Why are they so far apart? Are they all electrons? Photo: Fox
A Lightweight-Plaid Disaster Is it pastel? Honestly, I don't think those colors want to commit to just one category. Photo: Fox
A Confusing Fade While this pattern does seem complicated, it's so muted ... Photo: Fox
A Diseased-Clementine Print Besotted with an array of little spores. Photo: Fox
A Tiny Horse Race The horses are like: Get me out of this slideshow, lady! Photo: Fox
A Scarf With the Flu Interacts With A Stoned Neighbor See you later, say both and hope that they never, ever do. Photo: Fox
Nails on a Chalkboard Print Screeeeeeeeeeeeerrrchhhh. Photo: Fox
A Glimmering Explosion of Houndstooth A pattern that's a little too quick to RSVP. Photo: Fox
Pinstripes and Pink Polka Dots I refuse to take blame for that despicable alliteration; the pattern insisted on it. Photo: Fox
Are These Small Chickens? They seem to both be triangles and to also have little feet. Photo: Fox
An Incorrect Theory Again, I think I am wrong, but these look like little albino peacock butts! Photo: Fox
A Jubilant Flower Chill-Hang Enough space for everyone to spread out in this candle-lit loft. Photo: Fox
Animal-Print Time! I had this as a child, but it was a T-shirt and I hated it. Photo: Fox
Fractal Preppy It's decided to major in econ. Photo: Fox
A Chartreuse Daisy Field On a cloud of silk. Photo: Fox
An Uneasy Coalition of 3 Different Checkerboards A navy, a cerulean, a teal. Photo: Fox
A Mary Tyler Moore Jacket Businesslike, but also fun! Photo: Fox
An Adventure in Topography A vibrant mountain range. Photo: Fox
A Rabble of Teal Pigeons Flying every which way, every which way they please. Photo: Fox
The War of the Roses Pink roses, sludge roses: They're all here. Photo: Fox
An Untroubled Floral Arrangement Fascinating cropping on this one. Photo: Fox
A Muted, Champagne-Drunk Coral Reef Slowly fading as those waves crash. Photo: Fox
Blue by Joni Mitchell Is the small print just a zoomed-out version of the big one? Photo: Fox
Four More Shades of Blue In antebellum. Photo: Fox
A '70s-Granny Dressing Gown The colors are like: We're the worst and we're all together. Photo: Fox
A Who Wore It Better? Power-Pattern Suit The answer is this: your uncle's Barcalounger. Photo: Fox
Admirers in the Lemon Grove A party in a dress. Photo: Fox
A Bird Symposium Why they had to meet in Miami this year, no one knows, but they all suppose it'd be nice to get a little sun. Photo: Fox
Follow-up Bird-Pajama Symposium This time the bird convention was in Seattle, and they were into it. Photo: Fox
Are These Tiny Little Boats? I think I'm just trying to make sense out of nothing here. Photo: Fox
An Uh-oh Print Appropriation: happening. Price tag: still on. Photo: Fox
A Forced March of Paint Splashes They're like: Oh no, I didn't ask to be here. Photo: Fox
A Pile of Lilacs Out of Dead Land A surprise of a bouquet. Also, we aren't talking about that closet. Photo: Fox
A Traffic Jam of Petals All bumping into one another. Backups for hours. Photo: Fox
This Is a Bedsheet Full disclosure. But anyway, it's also a pattern. Photo: Fox
A Walking Disagreement It's very heated, but everyone is trying to pretend they don't hear it. Photo: Fox
A Kindly Group-Hug Skirt A honeycomb pattern? Maybe. Photo: Fox
A Pistachio Jubilee Just a hint of shimmer with this one. Photo: Fox
A Gold Chain Can-Can Line This dress just loves that song, it's her jam right now. Photo: Fox
A Pattern That's the Equivalent of Hair Rollers A cross-object coordination. Photo: Fox
Lavender: Embodied Tiny petals, a tiny shade. Photo: Fox
A Peppy Swatch Its colors seem to say: We don't like each other much, but I guess we work together, so perhaps we can overlook our general disagr... A Peppy Swatch Its colors seem to say: We don't like each other much, but I guess we work together, so perhaps we can overlook our general disagreements and try to get along for the time being. Photo: Fox
Petals of Annoyance Flowers of dissatisfaction. Photo: Fox
A Skirmish of Wintergreen Snakeskin and Heathered Absinthe The absinthe wins, naturally. Photo: Fox
Blue Snakeskin for Sneezing Allergic to that much print. Photo: Fox
A Contemporary Art Print Drips of paint, carefully arranged, with intention and meaning. Photo: Fox
A Candy Cane With Pneumonia  It was left outside and it froze. Photo: Fox
A Candy Cane With a Terrible Fever, Maybe It's the Scarlet Kind This one was left too close to the fire and it melted and burned and taught every... A Candy Cane With a Terrible Fever, Maybe It's the Scarlet Kind This one was left too close to the fire and it melted and burned and taught everyone a lesson. Photo: Fox
A Commotion in Scarf Form The train was delayed. There was such a hullabaloo. Photo: Fox
Hearts vs. Diamonds These patterns are like: Whoa, hope you're not flirting with a lawyer, because we have a conflict of interest. Photo: Fox
A Debonair Clash This hard-working trench is like, You need a break from staring at these patterns! Photo: Fox
MERCY. No. Photo: Fox
An Exultant Bouquet Greeting the day with kindly good cheer. Photo: Fox
A Very Ill Cheetah Also, ha: watermelon baby. Photo: Fox
A Chessboard on Shrooms Checkmate. Photo: Fox
A Flower Eruption It saw that fountain and it was like: Do I need to be watered? Probably!! Photo: Fox
A Hot Topic Plaid You know that you know what I mean. Photo: Fox
A Leafy Throng An absolute compost pile's worth of vegetative pileup. Photo: Fox
It's Take Your Pajama Shirt to Work Day As workplace attire, this is slightly interesting, but there was certainly an explanatory plot point abou... It's Take Your Pajama Shirt to Work Day As workplace attire, this is slightly interesting, but there was certainly an explanatory plot point about the use of pajamas. Photo: Fox
Drawer-Liner Flowers With a Sage Diamond Tweed Introducing a section of this slideshow called THE CLASH. Photo: Fox
The Clash: A Complete Discography Snake print up top, unintelligible jumble on bottom. Photo: Fox
The Clash As Played in the Room of a Younger Sister Every element is like: What's happening here? Photo: Fox
Hey, London's Calling and They Want Their Clash Back Ugh, I know, sorry. Photo: Fox
A Stressful Blouse It's like a city grid on acid. Photo: Fox
Real Housewives of Everywhere Print Couldn't commit to any one geographic region. Photo: Fox
A Minidress Is Abloom A floral pattern grows in midtown. Photo: Fox
Tiny Pastel Pattern Meets Tiny Pastel Pattern And there were tiny, tiny death stares. Photo: Fox
Bitchy Mondrian He's hanging with Seurat and they're mean-girling. These references suck, don't they! Photo: Fox
Look At That Patternless Couch In other news, there are two different dots and some stripes in this outfit. Photo: Fox
Snakeskin, Paired With a Pattern of Tiny Stacked Pillows Logic has flown free in this show. Photo: Fox
This Shirt and Sweater Were Like: No, We Aren't a Couple, We're Just Standing Next to Each Other Thanks, that's nice of you to say, but probably... This Shirt and Sweater Were Like: No, We Aren't a Couple, We're Just Standing Next to Each Other Thanks, that's nice of you to say, but probably our kids would not be cute at all. Photo: Fox
An Assembly of Brocade and Inverted Hearts They had to sit next to each on a plane and they were like, NOOOOO. Photo: Fox
A Deconstructed Paisley? Who knows anymore. Photo: Fox
Plaid and Polka Dots on Their First Date They both think they're ghosting. Photo: Fox
Glory Be, What Is Happening With This Shirt It melts the eye. Photo: Fox
It's the Triple Crown for Patterns The allied forces of: a paisley, a houndstooth, a school-girl stripe. Photo: Fox
A Fancy Pattern It's probably super-smug too. Let's go get a drink; I think it's walking over here. Photo: Fox
A Barbarically Cute Print Complete insanity over there. Just full-fledged over the cuckoo's nest madness. Photo: Fox
The First and Only Crunk Calico For once, I will include context: This is a "Lil Wayne on the Prairie" costume. Photo: Fox
A Pattern Built for Seduction c. 1982? I sense that was peak jade. Photo: Fox
ARGH!!!!!! Why are all of these together in one place, my God! Photo: Fox
An Ornate Gilding Under Some Radioactive Geese A Canadian dystopic novel. Photo: Fox
Florid Collar With a Flooded Honeycomb Skirt Who sabotaged whom? Photo: Fox
Whack-a-Doo I think there are eight different patterns visible in this outfit (I mean, the belt has one, too) but getting to that number was exha... Whack-a-Doo I think there are eight different patterns visible in this outfit (I mean, the belt has one, too) but getting to that number was exhausting and it's probably wrong anyway. Photo: Fox
A Collision of Pale Celestial Spheres Miss Havisham-ing. Photo: Fox
I KNOW I QUIT TOO  Photo: Fox
1 / 100

Tags:

  • the mindy project
  • definitive rankings
  • love and war
  • slideshow

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