As wisdom passed through the ages will tell you, the fastest way to avoid becoming “with child” (i.e., very pregnant) is to never have sex. One can achieve this in many ways. One can also make this easier upon herself, by dangling reproductive-health-themed lures from her ears. Introduce your eyes to IUD earrings. They might be just as effective as the tiny birth-control devices inserted into the uterus to prevent pregnancy for up to seven years.
Hooked like a contraceptive fishing lure? Here are all the details. Cost: $30 for two earrings. Materials: copper, beads, gold chains, courage, a passion for talking to strangers about family planning. Color options: white, on-trend Marsala. Purveyor: an Etsy store (naturally) called ContraceptCreations. Vibe: whimsical, not-pregnant.