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No One Unwraps a Present Quite Like André Leon Talley

Today is apparently Unboxing Day (not to be confused with Boxing Day), and, to celebrate, Vogue posted a transcendent video of André Leon Talley opening a present, an action he manages to perform unlike any other human being would. He is presented with a “beautiful silver box” from Prada. “Webbed ribbon. Love that. I’m going to turn it into a belt. I must say, the silver box is so beautiful, one can save it and use it for gloves or scarves in the closet.” Festive and frugal! Clearly this is off to a good start.

“PAPER, PAPER, PAPER!” he exults as he sends wrapping paper flying. Has anyone ever been so delighted by something so quotidian?

“A … COLLABORATION?” he adds, with wonderment— surely the first fashion person to do so. ALT is no jaded husk of a human being, unlike some of us.

What is it? A comfy grandfather sweater? Perhaps a dinner caftan? Talley suspects it is a “metrosexual gym bag.” Not so! With an audible yelp of discovery, he adds, “It is a PICNIC SET! PORTABLE! Beautiful! Picnic set!” Designed by Baz Luhrmann in collaboration with Miuccia Prada, no less.

He rotates the handsome leather picnic bag to display and catalogue its contents. “Lit-tle things, clink clink clink! Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, grog, eggnog!” In terms of seasonal cheer levels, Talley is giving Tiny Tim a run for his money.

Already, Talley has begun to envision a myriad of uses for his new possession. “This is something I would use at a terrace in New York, urban picnics, even inside.” He also envisions it “as a carry-on, perfect for corporate travel,” or even as a friendship-strengthening gambit: “Give it to your best friend at work and let them invite you over for lunch at the DESK!”

ALT truly is, as he has said, a man of many rivers that run very deep.” And we have no doubt he and a pal — maybe new boss Will.I.Am? — will get plenty of use out of the silverware set for two.

No One Unwraps a Present Like André Leon Talley