This January, Britney Spears will release her 17th fragrance, Rocker Femme Fantasy, further securing her hold on a billion-dollar fragrance empire. In honor of the milestone, the Cut gathered all 16 of her existing perfumes for a smell-test. From Chaotic to Toxic to Lucky, read below for our reactions to Brtiney’s many perfumes, delivered with handy GIF verdicts.
1. Fantasy — Mannequin Edition
Maggie Lange: This is like a dull smile.
Véronique Hyland: It smells ‘70s, kind of like Love’s Baby Soft.
Kathleen Hou: It smells like the bathroom the day after a sorority party. Not of vomit — like diluted, pleasing hair smells.
2. Midnight Fantasy
Maggie: This smells like scented Silly Putty.
Kathleen: Like fruit-punch-y love spray or jungle juice, which are sort of the same thing.
Maggie: I do not hate this — this is sort of like a funky Christmas ornament you display on a tree to offset the other normal ones.
Véronique: Smells like grass.
Maggie: Sweet grass.
Kathleen: Gap grass.
5. Circus Fantasy
Véronique: Reaalllly high alcohol content. Like drinking at the circus?
Maggie: Whoa. With a fruit-punch carryover.
Kathleen: This smells like a fancy cocktail at Applebee’s.
Maggie: Like a Straw-Ber-Ita.
6. Island Fantasy
Maggie: I think this is fine.
Véronique: It smells like green apple and papaya — does papaya have a scent?
7. Fantasy — Stage Edition
Maggie: I like this bottle; it looks Lilly Pulitzer–esque with snakeskin.
Kathleen: Like a coconut cocktail at an all-inclusive resort.
Maggie: But a nice one.
Kathleen: Like Sandals.
8. Hidden Fantasy
Maggie: This is fine. I wouldn’t be mortified to wear it.
Véronique: Does it smell … horsey to you?
Maggie: Yeah, like deep muskiness. With an animal sweat.
Kathleen: Kind of like maraschino cherries mixed with stables.
Maggie: Like Shirley Temple going to the stables.
9. Cosmic Radiance
Véronique: I want to go on the record as saying I love the design of this bottle. It looks mod.
Maggie: [Sniffs.] I don’t hate that.
Véronique: It smells like wax with a rose scent?
Maggie: But it isn’t cosmic at all.
10. Curious Heart
Maggie: I love this one!
Véronique: This is like a ‘70s baby-powder talcum scent.
Maggie: I don’t like this, but it isn’t offensive to me.
Véronique: It has an “Under the Sea” quality to me.
Kathleen: It smells like Herbal Essences but with more apple.
12. Curious in Control
Kathleen: This smells like maple syrup found in the back of the fridge.
Véronique: Like dripping maple syrup in places.
Maggie: It smells like sticky sex regret — like oops, we shouldn’t have used that questionable maple syrup. It was a gross idea.
13. Fantasy the Nice Remix
Maggie: This is disgusting.
Véronique: Deodorant and vanilla are what I’m getting.
Kathleen: Vanilla Smirnoff.
14. Fantasy the Naughty Remix
Maggie: Sweet patchouli … mixed with something rotten.
Véronique: Like a rum and Coke, but with generic cola.
Maggie: Like RC Cola.
Maggie: Guys, no, it’s terrible.
Véronique: I think it has a dry down of rubber.
Maggie: It smells like Lisa Frank, but like bad Lisa Frank. Like when Lisa Frank tried to get into tigers instead of sticking with unicorns. No one wants that.
16. Fantasy Twist
Kathleen: What’s the twist?
Véronique: Are these meant to be sprayed together?
Maggie: No guys, really, I can’t [runs from the room].