• Intelligencer
  • The Cut
  • Vulture
  • The Strategist
  • Curbed
  • Grub Street
  • Subscribe to the Magazine Give a Gift Subscription Buy Back Issues Current Issue Contents
    Subscribe to New York Magazine
  • Subscribe
  • Profile
    Sign Out
The Cut
  • Style
  • Self
  • Culture
  • Power
Style
  • Fashion
  • Beauty
  • Parties & Red Carpet
  • Fashion Shows
  • Cathy Horyn
  • The Cut Shop
Self
  • Health & Wellness
  • The State of the Uterus
  • Parenting
  • Advice
  • Sex & Relationships
  • Horoscopes
Culture
  • Books
  • Television
  • Movies
  • Music
  • Celebrity
Power
  • Politics
  • Work
  • Money
  • Rebecca Traister
More
  • Latest Stories
  • Video
  • About Us
  • nymag.com
  • New York Magazine
  • Intelligencer
  • Vulture
  • The Cut
  • The Strategist
  • Grub Street
  • Curbed
brain-dead fortnight
December 29, 2014

Inside the Weird, Lovely World of L.L. Bean Commenters

By Alex Ronan

Share

  • Share
  • Tweet
Photo: Courtesy of L.L. Bean

Does anything really happen in the last two weeks of the year? If it did, would you care? Welcome to Brain Dead Fortnight, two weeks of mental vacation.

L.L. Bean reviewers can be divided into two categories: those who favor flannel and those who are open to fleece. The active comments section of the company’s website pits active seniors against their scrawny twentysomething children; offspring who dare to describe the traditional sweaters as “tent-like.” They’re morally opposed to hunting, think fishing is boring, and wear the Bean Boots to their urban office jobs. They don’t believe that L.L. Bean Signature — a line with more tailored, modern cuts — sufficiently addresses their needs for form-fitting clothes.

Meanwhile, their parents gripe over increasing overseas production and decreasing quality. The monograms on boat totes are askew! The shearling-lined slippers are getting holes after only a few months!

Since its start in 1912, the outdoor and activewear line has offered a money-back guarantee. Defects in the initial design of the Bean Boot (officially, the Maine Hunting Shoe) led to a 90 percent return rate of the original production run of 100 boots. Leon Leonwood Bean, a rugged outdoorsman from Maine who started the line, remained undeterred. He simply fixed the boot design and carried on, developing a company that recently celebrated its hundredth anniversary with $1.52 billion in sales.

L.L. Bean reviewers are nothing if not meticulous. In page after page of product reviews, they’ll debate whether the 100% Pure Maple Syrup is too thick to soak into pancakes, and if the buttons on the Irish Fisherman Mock Turtleneck are excessively large or simply easy to use. In response to the site’s mandatory “I would describe myself as …” field, they offer responses that range from vocational  (“active gardener,” “walker, fiber artist,” “birder”) to existential (“stuck in a desk job, wish I was a park ranger,” “hungry”).

Related Stories

I Cannot Lie: I Love Eileen Fisher

When poring over the L.L.Bean reviews, it’s best to simply ignore the petulant San Franciscan who bikes to work. His opinions don’t matter, but his mother’s do. She grew up in Chebeague Island, Maine, knows her way around the woods, and measures fit in size, not seasonal style.

Click through for seasoned shoppers lamenting the old days — when a sweater lasted for decades and actually fit across a husband’s broad shoulders — as well as pondering questions about love versus comforter-warmth and the size of daughters’ big toes.

View
1 / 15 Photos
She Knows What She Likes and It's Not Fleece
Best Suited for Long Walks With Border Collies
From an Aging Boomer With Boho Flair, As the Fashion Folk Say
    From the Woman Who Found Time to Write a Review Amidst Walking, Leaf Peeping, and Getting Pumpkins for Grandchildren
From a Maple Syrup Addict in the Bronx 
Maple Syrup, It's Personal
When Reviewers Talk About Durability, They're Talking About a Rabbit-Proof Boat Tote
Is It Her Overly Large Head, Her Slippery Hair, Her Abnormal Ears, or That Hint of Sarcasm?
Sometimes,  a Sweater Just Doesn't Cut the Mustard
A Particular Shopper Whose Daughter Has Normal Toes Thank You Very Much
From the Mother of Someone Who Is Constantly Making New Discoveries About Their Sweaty Feet
Just Don't Call It a Cane
A Mountain-Born, City-Living Man Forced to Choose Between True Love and a Perfect Down Comforter 
Active Fiftysomething Seeks Functional Underwear, Ends Up Starring in Erotic Review After Wearing These Slippery Panties to the Mall
A Good Mat Is Hard to Find, Especially When It's Stolen Off Your Porch
1 / 15

Tags:

  • ll bean
  • moms
  • user reviews
  • brain-dead fortnight

More Galleries

red carpet June 5, 2022
All the Best Looks at the 2022 MTV Movie and TV Awards  Sydney Sweeney, Vanessa Hudgens, Jay Ellis, and more! 
parties! May 20, 2022
The Bestest Party Looks of the Week  Harry Styles > everyone! 
parties! May 13, 2022
The Bestest Party Looks of the Week  Bury me in Dove Cameron’s Saint Sintra skirt. 
parties! May 6, 2022
The Bestest Party Looks of the Week  Cue the Met Gala after-party FOMO. 
met gala 2022 May 2, 2022
Met Gala 2022: All the Looks [Photos]  Billie Eilish, Kim Kardashian, Michelle Yeoh, Hailey Bieber, Megan Thee Stallion, Cardi B, Blake Lively, and more. 
parties! Apr. 29, 2022
The Bestest Party Looks of the Week  This one goes to Olivia Rodrigo and her sweater vest. 
parties! Apr. 22, 2022
The Bestest Party Looks of the Week  “Fuck those Zoom tops.” 
celebrity style Apr. 18, 2022
The Best Looks From Coachella 2022  From Harry Styles’s sparkling Gucci set to Megan Thee Stallion’s metallic bodysuit. 
style Apr. 13, 2022
A Look Inside the New Museum’s Spring Gala  Featuring all the best looks. 
grammys 2022 Apr. 3, 2022
Grammy Awards 2022 Red Carpet: All the Looks  Lady Gaga, Olivia Rodrigo, Lenny Kravitz, Lil Nas X, Billie Eilish, and more. 
oscars 2022 Mar. 28, 2022
How Were The Oscars After Party Looks Better Than The Actual Award Looks?  Finally, some fun. 
oscars 2022 Mar. 27, 2022
All the Looks From the 2022 Oscars Red Carpet  Zendaya, Regina Hall, Timothée Chalamet, Andrew Garfield, Kristen Stewart, Ariana DeBose, and more. 
style Mar. 22, 2022
Bridgerton Season 2 Premiere: All the Red-Carpet Looks 
style Mar. 13, 2022
BAFTAs 2022: All the Red-Carpet Looks  Florence Pugh, Daniel Kaluuya, Emma Watson, and more! 
celebrity fashion Mar. 6, 2022
Spirit Awards 2022: All the Red-Carpet Looks  Julia Fox, Andrew Garfield, Kristen Stewart, and more! 
Mar. 1, 2022
All of Rihanna’s Maternity Looks  From belly-baring looks to sexy leather dresses. 
Feb. 27, 2022
SAG Awards 2022: All the Red-Carpet Looks  Selena Gomez, Ariana Debose, Daveed Diggs, and more! 
paris couture week 2022 Jan. 27, 2022
Glenn Martens Wows As Guest Couturier for Gaultier Haute Couture It is a sight to behold.
By Vivian Chuang
Dec. 9, 2021
All the Looks From the And Just Like That … Red Carpet  Sarah Jessica Parker, Billy Eichner, Sara Ramirez, and more. 
style Nov. 29, 2021
Gotham Awards 2021: All the Red-Carpet Looks  Tessa Thompson! Kristen Stewart! And more. 
  • Style
  • Self
  • Culture
  • Power
  • Newsletters
  • About Us
  • Contact
  • Help
  • We’re Hiring
  • Press
  • Privacy
  • Terms
  • Ad Choices
  • Do Not Sell My Info
  • Accessibility
The Cut is a Vox Media Network. © 2022 Vox Media, LLC. All rights reserved.