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fifty shades of boring
January 19, 2015

15 Inanimate Objects With More Chemistry Than Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson

By Allison P. Davis

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Photo: NBC/Getty Images

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Jamie Dornan Said Some Weird Stuff About His Balls

Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson are the stars of a highly anticipated sex movie in which they portray people who have sex, lots of sex, searing-hot kinky sex. Recent reports regarding their onscreen chemistry, however, have not been encouraging. Based on their appearance at the Golden Globes, it seems like the two stars are not attracted to each other, probably don’t even like each other, and have the sexual chemistry of two unsalted saltines dunked in milk and smooshed together. In fact, the milky crackers would probably be sexier, as would the inanimate objects in the following slideshow of items with more sexual chemistry than the stars of 50 Shades of Grey.

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1 / 16 Photos
Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson Jamie and Dakota don't have a ton of sexual chemistry. In fact, read on for object pairings that have more. Phot... Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson Jamie and Dakota don't have a ton of sexual chemistry. In fact, read on for object pairings that have more. Photo: 2014 NBCUniversal
This loofah and bottle of generic bodywash.  Photo: Shutterstock
These two rolled-up slices of boiled ham.  Photo: Shutterstock
These two towels on a line.  Photo: Stacy Morrison/Corbis
These two slabs of granite.  Photo: Shutterstock
These slices of white bread.  Photo: Shutterstock
These slightly under-ripe pears.  Photo: Shutterstock
This gavel and sound block.  Photo: Shutterstock
These two logs.  Photo: Shutterstock
These two heads of broccoli.  Photo: Foodfolio/Corbis
These muddy cleats.  Photo: 145/Tom And Steve/Corbis
This hard hat and orange traffic cone.  Photo: Shutterstock
This garbage going into a garbage can.  Photo: Corbis
These baked beans and this tin can.  Photo: Jamie Grill/Corbis
Bennifer in 2004.  Photo: Frank Trapper/Corbis
This discarded mattress and box spring.  Photo: Shutterstock
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  • fifty shades of grey
  • jamie dornan
  • dakota johnson
  • slideshow
  • love and war
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