existential monologues

Kim Kardashian Has Full-blown Identity Crisis

Kim Kardashian.
Kim Kardashian. Photo: Josiah Kamau/BuzzFoto/Getty Images

In an interview about her daily beauty routine, shapeshifting simulacrum Kim Kardashian experienced a brief existential glitch. While she spoke about the care of her shell (which involves lotion, gel, soap, makeup; all rose-scented, preferably), she bounded between pronouns with disconcerting ease.

An example:

For my hair, I don’t wash it every day. We start out with a blowout on day one, then we go into a messier vibe the next day, and then we flat iron it and do a really sleek look on day three since that requires a little oil in the hair. Day four could be a slicked-back ponytail, and on the fifth day is when you wash it. That’s a little excessive, maybe. [Laughs]

That’s “I” to “we” to “you” to “Greek chorus” in four easy motions, followed by laughter in the face of the absurd.

Kim Kardashian Has Full-blown Identity Crisis