We Can’t Use the Eggplant Emoji for Sexting Anymore, Thanks to Diplo

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Photo: Kelly Chiello and Photos by Shutterstock, Wikimedia Commons

Billboard did a cute thing where they asked celebs to discuss their favorite emoji. Charli XCX is into palm trees, they learned, while Gwen Stefani uses the cloud to express her current state. And Diplo — well, Diplo said, “The eggplant one — it’s code for stuff.”

I do not have the lung capacity to emit a sigh as deep as this warrants. If Diplo (or Adam Levine) is really into something, it’s a good sign that the time has come to let that thing go. So, from now on, no self-respecting human is allowed to use the eggplant to symbolize “stuff” (penis, sex, sex stuff, penis stuff, ratatouille) ever again.

But since we still have “stuff” needs, the Cut has a whole list of other suitable replacements. Click through and find your new favorite! Thanks a lot, Diplo, you [eggplant emoji].

Photo: Apple

The Nose

Arguably the most realistic emoji representation of a penis.

Photo: Apple

The Meaty Drumstick

Some might argue the second-most realistic. Certainly the fleshiest.

Photo: Apple

The Guardsman

There isn’t an emoji with a turtleneck. This is the next best thing.

Photo: Apple

Saxophone or Trumpet

Please don’t make us explain this, guys.

Photo: Apple

Lil’ Pencil Nub

We’re not sizeist.

Photo: Apple

Rocket Ship

Only for the deserving.

Photo: Apple

Either Whale Emoji

Wild card.

Photo: Apple

The Corn

A suitable replacement for those who fear change and want to stick with a vegetable phallus.

Photo: Apple

The Telescope

The length adjusts, making it a one-size-fits-all emoji.

Photo: Apple

The Microphone

Helping people make beautiful music together.

No More Using the Eggplant Emoji for Sexts