As we enter our fifth month of winter, many of us have given up. We wake each day with dead souls, and put on the same warm sweater and pair of wool socks we’ve been wearing since late November. We shuffle out into the eternally frigid world with vacant eyes that scream, Why even bother, guys, why even bother? It will never get better.
But there are some for whom spring blooms, despite the persistence of bloom-killing cold: They have been dubbed the “Winter Deniers” by the New York Times. Those people you spot gingerly tiptoeing around puddles to protect their aseasonal suede Jimmy Choo stiletto sandals aren’t vain; they are warriors, rebelling against Mother Nature and her sick, godforsaken winter torture by saying an early and permanent good riddance to tights, turtlenecks, and long johns. They refuse to wear their Canada Goose parkas, their scarves, their hats, or their Uniqlo Heattech unders any longer. It only took one day of 55-degree weather, but spring has sprung, and they are not going back.
You’ll know them by their open-toed clogs, inappropriately light jackets, and bare clavicles. Also by their chronic runny noses and hacking coughs. Be sure to shake their hands (then wash yours) if you seem them — the brave, the rebellious, the pioneering — for they look outside and only see the potential warmth of the sun, not the hellish reality of Weather.com.