Yesterday, Rihanna was on bridesmaid duty for her friend and assistant Jennifer Rosales. Based on the Instagrams, the wedding looked like tons of fun: It was in #Hawaii, #Rihanna was in the #weddingparty, and the wedding was on #420, as evidenced by the cake pops and the wedding hashtag, #Davis420wedding.
Rihanna, it seemed, was an exemplary bridesmaid. She donned the traditional silk dressing gown of wedding parties all over:
She gamely posed with this dude, who cannot believe his luck:
Above all, she kept her natural RiRi-ness in check and let the bride shine bright like a diamond.
But imagine you’re Rosales’s cousin who was only asked to be in the wedding party out of obligation. You’re gathered on the beach posing for a bridal-party photo and it’s like, “Oh just ignore Rihanna and pose like this is totally normal.” Meanwhile, Rihanna is dead center, holding a joint or a lollipop or something in her mouth, which is perfectly made-up with a M.A.C lipstick nobody else can buy, somehow making the standard wedding updo and pastel gown look like a goddamn dream.
How do you, Rosales’s bridesmaid of obligation (or friend from elementary school, or former sorority sister), even begin to pose in this picture that will end up on blogs all over? You can: (a) Maintain the sorority squat you mastered in all those group shots from Delta Nu, (b) close your eyes and act like it’s not happening, (c) crane your neck so hard to get your face above Rihanna’s shine range so people notice you, too, or (d) admit defeat and just cover your hair with your face.