Coachella is not so much a music festival as a microstate ruled by midriffs. Coachella is not so much a midriff microstate as a convention of innovators in botanical tiaras. Coachella is not so much a convention as a parade of desert dust mites dressed in children’s T-shirts and denim underwear. It is not so much a parade as it is a carousel; and not so much a carousel as it is a unique ecosystem that supports body-chains.
Whatever it is, that’s what it is. Here’s a slideshow of people doing it, super, super hard.
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The Coachella Garden At Coachella, a face is often a garden. Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
A Coachella Businesswoman Coachella board member Kate Bosworth is ready for her meeting now.
Photo: Rachel Murray/Getty Images
The Coachella Rihanna Here is Rihanna dressed as a Disney villain's assistant.
Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty Images
A Coachella Bebe Here he is, in a tiny suit of florals! He gets it! Photo: BFAnyc.com
The Coachella Group Photo Everyone, try to lick the lens, it will be so, so funny.
Photo: Jeff Kravitz/Getty Images
A Coachella Fan Just a normal teen, enjoying a fun activity! Photo: Jeff Kravitz/Getty Images
The Coachella Fringe Spin Every fringe piece, like a ray of Coachella sunshine. Photo: BFAnyc.com
A Steampunk, Pixie, Princess, Indian + Native American, + '90s Candy Kid Coachella Phew! This girl did it all! Photo: Rachel Murray/Getty Images
The Coachella Yell SOMEONE RESCUE ME FROM MY ENTHUSIASM! Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
The Coachella Slouch Ryan Phillippe is as fried as his shirt-egg.
Photo: BFAnyc.com
The Prism of Coachella A place in which every experience is exploded into a thousand tiny images. Photo: BFA NYC
The Coachella Backpack The Coachella backpack is actually a fun friend! Now you know! Photo: Jason Kempin/Getty Images
One of the 2,325 Coachella Princesses This one is crowned with a glimmering forehead necklace and meticulously casual hair-waves.
Photo: Rachel ...One of the 2,325 Coachella Princesses This one is crowned with a glimmering forehead necklace and meticulously casual hair-waves.
Photo: Rachel Murray/Getty Images
The Coachella Clash Following the different lines caused by this body-chain and swimsuit and floor-length vest is too difficult for me, honestly.... The Coachella Clash Following the different lines caused by this body-chain and swimsuit and floor-length vest is too difficult for me, honestly.
Photo: Rachel Murray/Getty Images
The Coachella Conductor And one, two, three! Are you rushing or dragging? ARE YOU RUSHING OR DRAGGING? Keep on tempo, damnit! Photo: Frazer Harr...The Coachella Conductor And one, two, three! Are you rushing or dragging? ARE YOU RUSHING OR DRAGGING? Keep on tempo, damnit! Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
The Coachella Fire-Goddess FKA Twigs arrived at Coachella, ushered in on a beam of Mars's light.
Photo: Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images
The Coachella Commentary on Violence in America Guys! Just turn all guns into flower guns!!
Photo: Matt Cowan/Getty Images
The Coachella Goth Pushing noir in a world of flowers and sunshine. It's a meaningful rebellion. Photo: Rachel Murray/Getty Images
The Grand Coachella Ground-Circle Array your friends like the spokes of a wheel. Make certain everyone is wearing quirky sunglasses! Photo: BFAn...The Grand Coachella Ground-Circle Array your friends like the spokes of a wheel. Make certain everyone is wearing quirky sunglasses! Photo: BFAnyc.com
The Coachella Camera No, no, how about we use the phone as a camera and the camera as a necklace, yes? Photo: Jason Kempin/Getty Images
The Extraneous Coachella Duster A helpful addition from a mother who suggested that it might get cold!
Photo: Rachel Murray/Getty Images
The Coachella Beard If one can match one's beard to the sponsor, one certainly shoud. Photo: BFA NYC
The Coachella Victorian Dressing Robe You just caught her on the way to the ladies' toilets! Oh, goodness! How embarrassing for her!
Photo: Rach...The Coachella Victorian Dressing Robe You just caught her on the way to the ladies' toilets! Oh, goodness! How embarrassing for her!
Photo: Rachel Murray/Getty Images
The Correct Coachella Curl Jourdan Dunn's hair is the Coachella of hair. It's so much so, that we can't even begin to discuss that crochet-boob-h... The Correct Coachella Curl Jourdan Dunn's hair is the Coachella of hair. It's so much so, that we can't even begin to discuss that crochet-boob-holster she has going on ... Can't even begin to!
Photo: Michael Bezjian/Getty Images
The Coachella Cough Achoooooooooo.
Photo: Jason Kempin/Getty Images
The Full Coachella A flower crown! A modest bra fashioned as a crop top! Pinup shorts! A fanny pack! Nay, an ironic fanny pack! It's the full Coa... The Full Coachella A flower crown! A modest bra fashioned as a crop top! Pinup shorts! A fanny pack! Nay, an ironic fanny pack! It's the full Coachella.
Photo: Rachel Murray/Getty Images
The Flightless Bird of Coachella His plumage is strictly for mating rituals.
Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
The Coachella Cat After leaving her 389 dogs at home, Paris Hilton takes the opportunity to dress as a cat.
Photo: Papjuice/Bauer-Griffin/Getty ...The Coachella Cat After leaving her 389 dogs at home, Paris Hilton takes the opportunity to dress as a cat.
Photo: Papjuice/Bauer-Griffin/Getty Images
The Coachella Howl to the Wind Brittany Howard!
Photo: Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images
The Coachella Rainbow Sprinkle She comes with her own curtain, of course. Photo: Gaelle Beri/Getty Images
The Coachella Butt-Train It's a place where rear ends are celebrated with fancy wedding dresses! Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images
The Coachella
Craft Pack The middle one's right garter gave up on the day! Poor little garter.
Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty Images
The Coachella Worldview Look at that helicopter in the background! Where's he going?
Photo: ROBYN BECK/Getty Images
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