Bearded Men Defend Themselves Against Poop Accusations

Photo: Bernhard Lang/Getty Images

After the news broke that beards are probably full of germs, soup leftovers, and fecal particles, some Brooklyn men would like to respond. Hey, hey, wait, they’re saying. Not ALL beards. Page Six” spoke to several of Brooklyn’s maligned hirsute brothers, who had a lot to say in defense of their alleged poop beards. A sampling:

“I know tons of women who love my beard. The beard is not a hindrance — it almost always helps the situation.”

“I shower twice a day and use a beard wash in the shower and a beard butter after.”

“I’ve gotten really good at avoiding getting food stuck in it.”

“I promise I do not have poop on my face.”

“Everyone always smells my beard — probably about 15 times a day — and they love it. They comment how well-kept it is.”

While it’s interesting to learn all about the fastidious maintenance of the Brooklyn beard, save your #Notallbeards tweets: Science has already debunked this one.

Beardos Defend Themselves Against Poop Slander