keeping score

Martha Stewart Grades Her Lifestyle Students

Martha Stewart.
Martha Stewart.

It’s nearly the end of the school year, so Martha Stewart is finally assessing all those who claim to be students of her school of lifestyle guruship. In a recent interview with Us Weekly, Madame Stewart weighed in on the projects of her blonde lifestyle-entrepreneur imitators. Letter grades are based on our understanding of her verbal assessment.

Preserve, a Blake Lively Joint: “I think Blake has done a good job with her site. It’s an interesting site — kind of an interesting product on it.”
Grade: B

Goop, a Gwyneth Paltrow Effort: “Gwyneth is developing her site. I looked at some of her products the other day, I thought it was interesting.”
Grade: C+ 

The Honest Company, a Jessica Alba Production: “She’s done a good job, and I think she means very well especially in terms of children’s products.”
Grade: A-

Draper James, A Reese Witherspoon Extravaganza: “Oh, she did? I didn’t see that! How great! What is she doing? I don’t know Reese, I’ve never met her, but I’m sure she’ll do a good job.”
Grade: A+ (teacher’s pet, naturally)

Congratulations on your receiving your Martha Stewart blessings, class of 2015 — especially Goop, who was Martha’s most hated student. 

Martha Stewart Grades Her Lifestyle Students