E! News reports that Charlize Theron and Sean Penn have broken up after a year and a half of dating. Well, E! News actually phrased its report like this: “The 52-year-old Oscar winner and the 39-year-old South African beauty have split.”
Before you pour one out for their failed union, please note how the language of the above announcement is depressingly similar to the headlines that reduced L’Wren Scott to “Mick Jagger’s girlfriend.” So we’ll take a moment to remind everyone that Charlize Theron is more than just a “South African beauty”: She’s an Oscar winner, a producer, and an activist who was appointed a United Nations Messenger of Peace. And Sean Penn isn’t only an Oscar winner: He’s also a 52-year-old dude with a habit of dating younger blondes. He often makes faces like this:
Let’s hope both of these award-winning performers find solace in some breakup Ben & Jerry’s and rebound sex.