dong watch

Here Are Your Penis Beauty Standards

Photo: Jean-Daniel Sudres/Voyage-Gourmand/Photocuisine/Corbis

What makes an attractive penis? Is it a nice, even skin tone? Is it girth? Length? Can a penis be too fat? Too skinny? Can the head be too bulbous? (Yes.) Are all dongs beautiful or is beauty really just in the eye of the beholder? If it doesn’t look like Ca$h Out’s penis, is it then considered kind of ugly? Is there such a thing as a “butter dick”?

A group of Swiss researchers published a paper in The Journal of Sexual Medicine that addresses the question “What is a good-looking penis?” A group of 105 women, ages 16 to 45, rated the importance of specific penis characteristics (girth, length, pubic hair, et cetera). Based on those questionnaires, here are the most important factors in considering penile appearance, in order: General cosmetic appearance, pubic hair, penile skin, penile girth, shape of glans, length, scrotum appearance, “position and shape of meatus” (urethra).

The study was originally conducted in order to help men who had their penises surgically corrected after suffering distal hypospadias (a disorder rendering the urethra on the penis’s underside). Many worried their penises would still be regarded as “abnormal” after the operation, but the paper suggests that worry is for naught. 

Still, researchers have unintentionally defined a new set of dick beauty standards: A dong can be short as long as it’s pretty; pubic hair, which ranks No. 2 on the list, is important; and unlike a woman’s body, a dick will never be criticized for being too chubby. (See: girth, No. 4.) 

Here Are Your Penis Beauty Standards