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There’s a Penis for Every Occasion

Photo: Anthony Bradshaw/Getty Images

You know the age-old saying: Whether it’s a birthday, holiday, or a regular Friday night, there’s a penis for every occasion! Actually, I just made that up, but a small new study published in the academic journal Plos One and covered by Fusion found that women really do desire different penis shapes at different times.

In the study, 75 women were asked to feel 33 different 3-D-printed penis models in order to determine whether a woman’s size preference varies based on if she’s looking for a long- or short-term relationship. The results found that the women chose slightly larger penis models for one-night stands (6.4 inches long, 5.0 inches around) than they did for long-term partners. Forever Dicks — those attached to men the women considered long-term-relationship material — could be slightly smaller (6.3 inches, and 4.8 inches around).

It’s comforting to know that even when life gets you down, there’s a penis out there for every mood.