Earlier this week cult fashion retailer Opening Ceremony debuted a Netflix-themed portfolio that, according to photographer Matthew Kelly, seeks to “emulate the trance that occurs when a viewer has been binge-watching.” Kelly says he sought to be more realistic than the ads he sees from streaming companies, but the result doesn’t exactly match our casual, Tinder-driven experience of “Netflix and Chill.”
The images are enviable — very cool, very moody people wearing Dries Van Noten ensembles and cashmere indoor scarves, lounging on a big minimalist couch most likely watching something with subtitles or a melancholy, obscure Japanese supernatural drama (hey, that’s one of my recommended genres, too!). But where are the snacks? The beers? The awkward body positions? The calculated “oh this is just what I wear around the house” outfits? Have you ever Netflix and Chilled in perfect royal-blue Issey Miyake pants? I certainly have not.
Because we love you, Opening Ceremony, here is a suggested short list for a “Netflix and Chill” sequel.
Can We Do It Yet?
Couple perched, fully dressed, on the edge of an unmade bed, huddled in front of a too-small MacBook. Each has an open beer, pretending to be casual, but actually white-knuckling it. They are looking at the screen, but are so busy wondering who is going to make the first move they aren’t even registering the movie.
Is Someone Watching Us?
Couple lounging, laughing, and cuddling on a couch while watching Friday Night Lights. An angry roommate lurks in the kitchen.
You Had One Job
A fully dressed woman angrily holds the door open as she asks her “date” to leave. He forgot the weed.
The Tinder Special
Bare feet are visible on the bed in a compromising position, while a discarded laptop, uneaten pizza, and unopened beers lie on the floor next to a non-Dries pile of clothing.
A single person frantically hiding piles of laundry while desperately searching for his or her “good” underwear.
Don’t Look At Me!
Action shot of a guy throwing his body in front of TV to hide the fact his most Recently Watched queue includes nothing but Family Guy repeats and Nicholas Sparks movies. His date is rolling her eyes.
The Beard Netflix Account
Woman falling asleep during vintage surf documentary she suggested though she would rather have binge-watched Friday Night Lights. Her date is rolling his eyes.
And the most realistic of all …
A woman curled up in bed on a beautiful summer’s day, surrounded by mounting piles of food containers, watching the entire new season of Orange Is the New Black and texting her friends “Hungovverrrr.”