i am not oprah

Oprah Finally Reveals How to Achieve Full Oprah

Oprah. Photo: Angela Weiss/Getty Images

You can take Oprah-approved bubble baths, you can swaddle yourself in cashmere like she would, you can drink nothing but Oprah Chai, you can read every single book from Oprah’s Book Club, but, like, can we ever really truly be truly Oprah?

Oprah knows we struggle to be like her, so after decades of mystifying us with her obscene levels of greatness, she’s shared her concrete “get it all done” tips with Fast Company. There’s lots of the usual advice — breathe, have a “wonderful” chief of staff to email you everything you need to know, read motivational quotes, etc. But she does offer one piece of advice so specific that it must be the key to achieving full Oprah. Warning: It involves stillness, privilege, and birds:

“My body wakes up between 7:16 and 7:23 a.m., like clockwork. If I make it to 7:23, it’s like, ‘Wooo!’ I don’t use alarm clocks. They make me agitated. Everything begins and ends with stillness: a conscious awareness of my presence within the greater presence of all, whether I’m paying attention to the way the sun’s rising, or whether it’s misty out in the morning on the trees. When I wake up now I have the privilege of listening to real twitter.”

Yes, in order to achieve conscious Oprahness, we must arise at the specific Oprah minute (give or take seven of them) to focus on the twitter in the trees, not the Twitter on our phones.

Oprah Finally Reveals How to Achieve Full Oprah